What should I expect from him?

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07-12-09, 08:29 PM
noriko_u

What should I expect from him?

There's this guy I like, who I met two years ago. I caught him several times looking at me (and we even stared at each other and such), but by that time he was dating another girl and we rarely see each other anyway and had no common friends, so nothing came out of it.

Recently I saw him again, and now more often than before. He has broken-up with the girl but now has another girlfriend but they haven't been together a long time. I acted disinterested because I do not want to deal with this new girlfriend thing. Despite this indifference, I still catch him stealing glances at me, which I of course ignored (bec of the gf thing).

Let's presume (because it's difficult proving these kinds of things over the internet) that he and I make a better pair compared to the current one. Let's also presume that it's an established fact that I'm better looking and smarter than the current girl and that, personality wise, I'm also nice and funny. (These may come-off as arrogant, but I honestly don't intend that. I just want the situation to be less complex for you guys so please just take those descriptions as given.)

So I ask: What does he want? Does he like me, and if he does, does he like me enough? Is this just a trivial crush for him? If he likes me enough, then why doesn't he break-up with his current girl and take the chance with me? Am I doing something wrong by being indifferent and distant? But if I become more open would it really change anything? What should I do?

Help, I really need some perspective on this!
07-12-09, 10:17 PM
valhensing

you ignore him would prevent him from breaking up with the current gf. You cant possibly expect him to break up with his current gf over some crush with a person who is "clearly" not interested in him??

The thing isnt about are you better than her or not. She got there first. If you want to risk being the 3rd person and being hurt a normal amount - big deal (3rd person always get that, dont think it wouldnt happen to you) then knock yourself out. Drop some hints, be closer to him
08-12-09, 04:14 PM
noriko_u

Thanks for the honest opinion :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by valhensing [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

If you want to risk being the 3rd person and being hurt a normal amount - big deal (3rd person always get that, dont think it wouldnt happen to you) then knock yourself out.

What do you mean by this?
08-12-09, 08:34 PM
valhensing

i meant if you still want to purposely pursue this guy, you would be the 3rd person in their relationship.

By then you would probably come back here and complain why the guy hasnt dump his gf for you yet etc... You'll get hurt eventually.
08-12-09, 10:42 PM
-+Lost+-

Quote:

Originally Posted by valhensing [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

i meant if you still want to purposely pursue this guy, you would be the 3rd person in their relationship.

By then you would probably come back here and complain why the guy hasnt dump his gf for you yet etc... You'll get hurt eventually.

This is very true. Be careful..maybe try getting to know him as just a friend would be good first, never know he might turn out to be an idiot!?
10-12-09, 10:12 AM
FrankD

Hey noriko... Let me give you a brutally honest opinion: If he really wanted to persue you when he saw you all these times - regardless of his relationship status, he would have. Period.

Do you mind me asking how old you are?
10-12-09, 10:29 AM
valhensing

Quote:

Originally Posted by FrankD [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Hey noriko... Let me give you a brutally honest opinion: If he really wanted to persue you when he saw you all these times - regardless of his relationship status, he would have. Period.

Do you mind me asking how old you are?

really? you would do that? i wouldnt:tough: why should i break up with my current gf (given she is his gf, he would like her on some degree) to pursue someone who doesnt show any interest in me?

if i were a guy and i like somebody, i'd back off in respect for my current gf. If i like that somebody too much an have sometime together which is nice and she show some interest in me then i would ask if she is interested, if she said yes, then i would break up with my current.

That's how a normal guy does. A bad guy would want to stay with both:P:P
10-12-09, 08:55 PM
FrankD

Quote:

Originally Posted by valhensing [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

really? you would do that? i wouldnt:tough: why should i break up with my current gf (given she is his gf, he would like her on some degree) to pursue someone who doesnt show any interest in me?

if i were a guy and i like somebody, i'd back off in respect for my current gf. If i like that somebody too much an have sometime together which is nice and she show some interest in me then i would ask if she is interested, if she said yes, then i would break up with my current.

That's how a normal guy does. A bad guy would want to stay with both:P:P

Yeah, I think I would... If this is a good-looking girl, she's been throwing me looks, I've been throwing her looks, I'd go over and talk to her. Doesn't hurt anything. I wouldn't flirt with her or cheat, but it never hurts to strike up a little conversation. Ya never know what you'll find!

I'm not saying break up with your current gf or bf (unless you're thinking of cheating).