He avoids eye contact during sex...

So I've been with the same guy for around 4mths now and the sex is incredible. He tells me it is the best he has ever had, and I feel the same. We're just really really compatible in that way.

But... I've noticed that during sex he avoids eye contact or looking at me. Well, he will look at me for a few seconds but then quickly look away. It is making me insecure!

I've never really experienced this - the last guy I was with was verrrry complimentary and couldn't keep his eyes off me. It was intense.. But current boy rarely gives me compliments about my appearance etc. He often tells me I am cute or sweet, and now and then he says I'm sexy, but during sex he doesn't. Usually this wouldn't bother me so much, but combined with avoiding eye contact, is starting to make me feel insecure. Does it mean that he doesn't think I am hot and is imagining someone else??! Or maybe I look less hot all hot and flustered?! Or is it more about him feeling shy?? heeeeelp!

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Or is it more about him feeling shy

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You got it. Does he make a lot of eye contact when you're not having sex?

It's quite possible he thinks he's "respecting" you. Maybe he thinks sex is dirty and doesn't want to sully his lovely girlfriend with his animalistic thoughts.

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Originally Posted by shheadz [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You got it. Does he make a lot of eye contact when you're not having sex?

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Hmmmm no actually, he doesn't. He can be quite confident sometimes and we make a lot of eye contact, but more often than not he is pretty shy. I'm quite shy as well I guess, but in the bedroom it is a different matter!! I kind of don't see how/why he'd be shy in that situation, considering all of the things we get up to. Ahem, yes.. :-) I mean, he isn't too shy to say really dirty things, which I love, but when it comes to eye contact its different...

Maybe he's too busy concentrating on what he's doing, instead of getting into the moment, and really feeling the passion?

Before you freak out or get upset with him, ask him what the deal is. It's just that simple.

If he's really that shy, you might have to coach him a bit. Gently place your hands on the sides of his face, and turn him towards your face so he has to look at you. Then ask him some sweet questions like "Tell me you love me", or maybe even "F*ck me harder", whatever you're into.

I don't agree with Gribble's advice, because he's going to do it because you've told him to, and then the whole thing loses it's magic.

Some people just have a problem with eye contact. It's a habit.

Yeah I considered asking him about it, but like shheadz said, I think if I do that he will probably make more of an effort, but it will probably feel contrived. I mean, it's not huuugely important that he does it - I love the intimacy that comes with lots of eye contact, but if he doesn't value that or feels uncomfortable, I don't want to MAKE him!!! I guess I just wanted some reassurance that it isn't connected to his degree of physical attraction to me...

it has nothing to do with you...i can guarantee you that

If the sex is the best you ever had, just consider it a quirk of his, and let it go. Why look for trouble?

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I guess I just wanted some reassurance that it isn't connected to his degree of physical attraction to me

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Nah.. I feel confident saying it's not you. It's just his shyness, and/or his previous girlfriends didn't like/ask for eye contact, so he doesn't know any better.

It is nothing to do with you, could be about his past.

It sounds like you guys have a good relationship so I would just let it go and enjoy what you have

Well eye contact during sex can be particularly intense.

I use prolonged eye contact to intensify sex on a more emotional level.

But not all the time, sometimes I'm goin' for a simple f*ck.

Oh, and so long as you're not ugly and he compliments you out of the bed, you have nothing to worry about.

Hi when I first started seeing my boyfriend we had a casual arrangement, kind of a no strings relationship, my boyfriend would look everywhere except me when we were in bed together, jesus man, he must know every single crack or mark on my ceiling and headboard!!! After a few months I pulled him ujp about it. He never looked at me because he didnt want to get too attached, I had lots of baggage with my kids, was going through a divorce, he didnt want a girlfriend at the time so it was kind of a self protection thing, but it really upset me at the time. We were together for a couple of months before I even noticed what colour his eyes were, lol!!! (weve been together a year now and are together properly now and plenty of eye contact)

Sorry I know this answer probably doesnt help you, but just telling you what happened with me. Also my boyfriend was pretty shy too.
Good luck! xx