Do I get into a relationship? (confused about getting into relationship)

Okay so I'm going to bluntly honest since this is the internet.

I fell in love with this girl when I was a junior/senior in high school and basically my weird situation kinda kept me from trying anything with her (didnt have a car, my house was a warzone so i couldnt invite her over), but none the less i really was feeling her. it was such a bad situation. it was the first time i felt any kind of 'love' thing and it really tore me apart for those years.

but anyway, im in college now, a junior, so that was like 4 years ago. and like i dont know what it is, i dont know if i should get in a relationship or not now. for some reason now i have this cliche feeling in me if i start hanging with a girl i will fall for her fast (because i fall fast) and, getting back to the cliche thing, i feel like i will be with her forever.

its like, i want a relationship, but i feel like i will fall in love so hard that i wont want anything else. it is just scary to me i guess. like because i fell in love with a girl in highschool i could have, it got me really emotional i guess. and if i like girl.. i ****ing LIIIKKKEEE a girl A LOOOOTTTT. and yeah its good because i dont know girls like me too. like i had so many chances to have a relationship, but i shut them all down. because i feel almost disgusted almost of being with some girl forever (maybe because of what happened?)

i dont know, i just feel uneasy because of my past. so should i go for a relationship? i could probably get one easy, but its just i dont kow if i want to. i never had one which is kinda making me want to experience it, but another part of me doesnt want one really. i just dont know.

what do u guys think? im 21 btw.

What's so wrong with meeting a girl, falling in love with her and "be with her forever"? Isn't that what everybody wants? Well, not if you want to try out the market before you make your choice. Yeah, I get it. But wouldn't it be great to find "the one" at the first try?

So you might be afraid that if you get in a relationship you'll become so attached that you will hold that girl in your heart forever and never move on if things go wrong... dude, that sort of thing rarely happens. People fall in and out of love, and it hurts, but 99% of the time it's temporary - as you move away from that person and keep living your life, collecting experiences and meeting new people, time washes away even the fiercest passions.

Either way, I'd say go for it if you find someone that's worth it. No need to miss out on life because of fear. K?

It's good that you recognize you have dependency issues. Really though you're gonna have to go out there and date. Get dumped. Date some more. Get dumped some more. Do some dumping.. etc. The whole experience will help "toughen you up" a bit, and years from now when you find "the one", you won't be as needy and desperate, and you'll be able to treat her right.