Update from "I'm going to die alone" ..not anymore :D

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06-01-10, 07:11 AM
james.zelo

Update from "I'm going to die alone" ..not anymore :D

Hiya everyone I have some good news for me and a question or two if anyone is kind to give me some advice.

A month ago I posted this thread here if anyone wants to see the whole story
I will paste it at the end of this post.

The short version:

I'll be 25 soon, virgin, never had a girlfriend I made a list of all the girls I dated (17 in total).

I met this girl ... 18th. And we got involved romantically, we've been on a couple of dates, we made out a lot and she seems to be into me, for some reason I don't know.

We talked about when we lost our virginity and I lied of course and toled her 7 years ago.

She is making a lot of future plans with me and also it seems she wants to have sex quite soon.

My question is... if we get to have sex, the day we do it should I confess that I lied and I'm actually a virgin ? Or should I tell her sooner ? Or never ? If I was like 18, 19 or even 20 years old I definitely would but I'm quite old to be virgin and I'm afraid she might dump me.

Ah and... is there a good date number I should pop a red rose ? or i should never do that ?
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This is the old post for anyone that is intrested:

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Hello! I'm new around here.

I don't know why I am posting here and I don't know what kind of response I want or even what I want to ask.

I guess I just need to tell my story, I'm to ashamed to tell this to any of my friends.

I am 24 and I have never been with a girl, never even kissed.

This last year, since Dec. 2008 I have dated a lot. My first date was a desastre, with time I have studied, I read books and many articles on dating, girls, I have talked with people and I have learned a lot and I really do meen a lot.

Never the less, whatever I try, to talk more, to be more charming, to buy a simple flower, everything fails I have learned to play my game perfectly.

I have dated 12 girls this passed year. Different ages with different backgrounds, I've date ugly and beautiful girls.

I don't have a lot of money and I don't have a super sport car. I am bellow average looking. I am not short or to tall nor fat or skinny. I am a very outgoing person with many friends.

It's just... girls don't like me.

Any input is very appreciated.
06-01-10, 07:20 AM
Spring Haze

You better tell her as soon as you can. If she dumps you over your sexual inexperience, well then she wasn't relationship material to begin with. Although it's understandable if she is upset you lied. And if you can't be honest with someone, well how do you expect a relationship to form?

She might figure it out anyway should you have sex under the pretense you are not a virgin.
06-01-10, 07:37 AM
MetalPhoenix

Question back at you (or anyone actually)

Why would you lie about being a virgin? I said in another post that you shouldn't care what others think of you. It's the way you are. If she doesn't like the virgin part of you, but she DOES like everything else, just tell her it's a package deal (no pun intended).

Tell the truth about who and/or what you are. People can either accept that or not. If they do, great, you made a friend
If they don't, it's their loss

It's the basic principle of being an individual. It sets you apart from the crowd.

I rather be unpopular with my own opinions and views, than having to give up my identety in order to "fit in"

"And kill me again, or take me as I am. For I shall not change. NEVER"
06-01-10, 07:43 AM
lahnnabell

Red rose is cute, but a little tacky. Don't lie. Be honest about your virginity, but be open to letting her teach you things. If you shut down and become rigid it'll turn her right off.

Have you done any other intimate acts with a girl before? Have you played with a woman's breasts before? Have you given or received oral sex? It's important to do a lot of these with a new girl before trying to stick it in her. Are you familiar with any kind of foreplay?
06-01-10, 07:48 AM
james.zelo

Well, I lied because we were talking about that on our 3rd date. The thing is I really really really don't want to lose her because I'm inexperienced in bed. I have played my cards great and I've been through a lot this year with women now that I finally met her I really don't want to star all over again.

I've been thinking, I will see more of her and I am going to try to raise my "cool" factor as much as I can before I pop the confession.

Any more advice on how to do this, how to tell her I am what I am without putting me in a bad light... or any advice is very appreciated. Help me keep this girl please !

Quote:

Have you done any other intimate acts with a girl before? Have you played with a woman's breasts before? Have you given or received oral sex? It's important to do a lot of these with a new girl before trying to stick it in her. Are you familiar with any kind of foreplay?

No, no and no, I only know what I read in books.
06-01-10, 07:51 AM
MetalPhoenix

DON'T "raise your cool factor".

You'll be bragging about yourself. And when you finally confess about being a virgin, she will start to wonder if that's the only thing you lied about.
06-01-10, 07:53 AM
james.zelo

Quote:

Originally Posted by MetalPhoenix [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

DON'T "raise your cool factor".

You'll be bragging about yourself. And when you finally confess about being a virgin, she will start to wonder if that's the only thing you lied about.

Hmm... yes your right I won't do that.
06-01-10, 07:56 AM
lahnnabell

Okay. Well, it's great that you've attempted some research, but book learnin' will only get you so far. And Phoenix is right. You lie about one thing, she's gonna wonder what else you've lied about.

The best thing you can do is be up front with her. I was 21 when I devirginized a 26 year old. He was plenty happy to learn and experiment with things and this is what made it fun for both of us.
06-01-10, 08:05 AM
Spring Haze

Quote:

Originally Posted by james.zelo [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Any more advice on how to do this, how to tell her I am what I am without putting me in a bad light... or any advice is very appreciated.

Get a cake that reads Surprise! I'm a virgin. Give it to her after a candlelit dinner.
06-01-10, 08:12 AM
lahnnabell

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spring Haze [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Get a cake that reads Surprise! I'm a virgin. Give it to her after a candlelit dinner.

Haha, that would actually work with me I think.

1. I love cake.
2. It shows a sense of humor.

But I don't think you should actually DO this. Seems like you are rather shy and anxious about this situation. A heartfelt conversation seems like your best bet.
06-01-10, 08:18 AM
james.zelo

Quote:

Originally Posted by lahnnabell [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Seems like you are rather shy and anxious about this situation.

Yeah that's me.

Thank you all for the advices, I shall follow them, for now I am looking forward a fun weekend with her.