complicated situation do not know how to handle
Ok so some background i am a college student and worked over the summer at some insignificant job where i worked with a girl i had known for years but never had any feelings for. when the job started she still had a boyfriend but i found myself attracted to her and would passivly flirt with her whenever i got a chance at work, and she would flirt back. she has been rather notorious for being quite the tease and flirt for as long as i knew her, and a few of my good friends and a few mutual friends with greater loyalty to her warned me against falling for her, so i was very cautious. as the days at work went on we started talking and flirting basically every day and texting and hanging out outside of work regularly. then we started hooking up over the last couple months of summer very regularly and we were (at least in my approximation) a couple of sorts, but with no real designation with school on the horizon several states away from each other.
as the end of the summer went on i found myself getting more attached to her and we went on several dates and hung out alone intimatly often. i consider myself a relatively confident guy and dont have trouble with women but i found myself to be getting nervous around her. she is very confident and intelligent and that coupled with her history as a tease and flirt, not always innocently mind you, and the advice from our friends made me apprehensive about allowing myself to fall for her.
as we went to school i was pretty content with nothing beyond accepting a summer romance and thinking upon her fondly. we spoke somewhat often for the first few months of school, and then discovered that we both intended on returning home over a long weekend a couple months into school. we independently went to a party, but as discussed beforehand (risk free in a somewhat joking manner) she spent the night and we had sex for the first time. it was sober and although guarded by a veil of vaguely comedic deniability, planned.
about a month later, i had fall break from school and was driving home and casually mentioned to her that i had the weekend off. she invited me to visit her (she goes to school several hours from our hometown) and, probably foolishly, i did for the night. that night we went out drinking. we both drank too much, and from what i remember, because both of us are probably too embarassed to discuss what we remember, we went to her room early and proceeded to have a very drunk, very honest, conversation that I do not remember in detail. the next morning we went out to breakfast and it was very awkward, i assume because she remembered more that i did about our conversation. i left that afternoon, and realized on the drive home that i actually was in love with this girl.
back at school, in an attempt to get over this girl from home with a history of infidelity and manipulative behavior, i decided to start dating a beautiful, good hearted girl who i had an off an on relationship going on for about a year. I initiated this relationship partially because of my attraction to this girl, but honestly and primarily to get over the girl from home.
now, it is about 3 weeks into my 4 week winter break. i successfully avoided seeing the girl from home until recently. over the past few days we had been exchanging flirtatious text messages talking about intending to hang out. she picked me up from my friends house late at night, gave me a peck on the lips, and dropped me off at home with nothing beyond an apparent desire to hang out tomorrow.
i apologize for the long explanation, it is a complicated situation and i left some aspects of it out. essentially my question is should i bother with a girl who for most of the year lives so far away and has such a imperfect history in treating other boys. I do love her, but I realistically would not be capable of dating her long distance at school, at least not with such a scattered and nonsustaining relationship between us. should i tell her how i feel, pursue her but not go so gung ho hope she does not meet someone at school before summer, or just try and avoid her and get past her and settle for the girl from school who on paper is kinda perfect, but i do not love? or something else? ive thought alot about this and have actually lost sleep over it but if i werent so young i would seriously marry this girl. any thoughts from the community?
