Halfway out of relationship

Hey guys.

We've broken with my ex 1 and half months ago and I still don't seem healed from it, nor on a good way. The relationship was 1 and half year, so maybe it needs more time. I've broken off any contact and I miss her from time to time. What to do with these thoughts? To mourn more, or to push them out of head?

Another thing is, that I lost much motivation in taking care of myself. I used to be sported out, talkative, intelligent, good student, practiced my music instrument properly and had a lots of good times. I see myself so mighty back then.

Since we've broken up, it's been downhill, even against my furious attempts. I've failed one subject on university, gained 12 pounds, lost interest in practicing guitar every day. I often have nothing to say and feel introverted, like I have nothing to offer to the world.

I'm trying to learn for university (it's my 1st year btw and it's been a difficult leap), practice the guitar and exercise everyday, but the problem is, that in my fantasy I have so much on my plate, that I switch into desperate mode and do about half of the things, then play videogames all afternoon, or go out to drink with friends 4 subsequent nights.

While I feel good at the moment, I'm not getting as much stuff done as I'd like to and it's definitely not helping my self-image. While a friend told me I'm totally okay, I see myself as a fat, lazy, needy, clingy man in constant need of affirmation. I have my social routines to prevent this from being true, but anyway, that's of no use if it's not coming from within.

Should I just shut up and do my stupid homework until I feel over the whole relationship, or is there something I'm missing?

Any advices?
Also, this was yet another rant, so feel free to post any criticism, if it's constructive.

break ups are really hard..trust me i know....but all you can do is take things one day at a time and just try to keep your self busy....do things that you enjoy doing. or even go and hang out with your friends...sometimes doing new things helps also.

Yeah, the less you think about her the better. That's what a failed relationship does to you... it breaks you. The pieces can be put back together, but it takes time... and every time you remind yourself of what good times you might have had, the recovery gets slowed down.

You're doing good efforts though, keep it up, you're in the right path.

It takes more than 6 weeks to move on from a year and a half relationship, but you should focus on doing the fun and positive things. You'll more than likely drift into them as time goes by anyway, but try to get yourself moving in that direction.

Perhaps it's sort of like quitting smoking psychologically - When I did that I had to stop doing things that reminded me of the habit. I had to stop playing my musical instrument for a bit, watching WW2 movies, driving was difficult but unavoidable etc. Perhaps the same logic can be applied here. If you watched a lot of movies with him don't watch them for a bit, if paying your instrument reminds you of him try something else for a bit. Worth a shot no?

The problem is I realized I lost my best friend, or one of best anyway.

I have little ways of communicating my feelings out to the world now. Sure I can mention all my stuff to my mates, but few take so much interest in all of these, and we pretty often go straight to next topic. As I said, I'm freshman at college now and am in a totally new collective. They are all nice and we like to see each other, but there's no one on my radio lenght at all now. High-school mates are gone mostly.

Am I just self-pitying now, or what? Still feeling at a low point, so at least I can vent here.

I'm done with some chain of alcoholic weeks and it doesn't give me anything anymore. All the stuff, that makes me feel better is introverted - reading literature, playing instrument, running. I start to feel unwell with many of my friends, because all the thoughts, that I want to share and no one catches. It's boiling inside me and I tried to undo that by going out more, just to find more emptiness. I feel so alone now.

I'm not having second thoughts about ending the relationship, it sucked big balls towards the end. It's just that, beside my pride hurt and romance gone... I just don't fit this world now. How have you guys managed yourselves in these situations?

(I lost 10 pounds, became more athletic, been having good grades recently, becoming really better with music. I ought to feel great, bud I'm all just sad & constantly feeling bad for being lazy, when I don't manage to do everything)