A bad week or is this here forever.
Recently I broke up with my fiance. He moved out and I haven't spoken to him since. I haven't spoken to anyone really. I'll reply to emails and texts but I've been quiet around everyone. I guess I don't have much to say and I am a lot calmer for some reason. I almost feel numb but at peace at the same time. I find myself staring and smiling at people as they pass me by even though inside I am really hurting, lost and confused.
A friend of mine came to see me and when she found out I was single... she reminded me of all the reasons I think she is an airhead. "Omgosh why? He has so much money and he wanted to buy you a house. Look at all the things he buys you." Um... hello? What about how mean he was to me?! I didn't say much I just stared at her and eventually she said I was being weird, anti-social and she left soon after. Good riddance.
This is a really bad week, not sure if I am always going to feel this way or it's just the week.
It didn't help that I was grabbed from behind while leaving the girls restroom from the warehouse department. I normally don't use that restroom but it was an emergency and it was closest. The guy scared the living shit out of me. Tried to scream but he covered my mouth with his hand and rammed my head into the wall. Eventually I broke free and he grabbed me again but I had time to yell. Two warehouse workers on the dock came to my assistance and chased the guy but he got away. We believe he is the same guy who attacked another co-worker in my building and the loading dock isn't secured well. My nerves are bad all over. To makes things worse when I was leaving work, I saw my ex, one that i was with before Anako, one who was very abusive and traumatized me severely. I hadn't seen him in a long time. He stared at me... made me feel so scared. I ran to my car and drove away.
I am almost certain I will have trouble sleeping tonight and my aide will have another easy night of work and not much to report. I guess I just needed to vent, some kind words would help to. I'm just really down and need some lift up.