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I have noticed that while I can be compassionate and warm, even too much so.
However, when I am criticized I tend to move to "super rational" as I try to size up the content as being valid or otherwise. At this point I find I am in an emotional void. Compassionless, no tears, very little feeling.
Anybody else experience this? Is this a male response or something that is uncommon?
I don't find that uncommon. Its happened to me quit a few times. To many to count... Right now the person closest to me could die and i wouldn't cry
No one enjoys being criticized. I interpret the "super rational" mode you speak of as a survival method. We are vulnerable when we are being judged and therefore we decide to throw up a wall, or many walls, in order to stay protected.
I do this too. However, I've developed it so that I don't have to lose compassion or understanding. It has taken a lot of time and practice to be able to have those difficult, heartfelt conversations with people.
My ex used to lash out a lot at me for various reasons, but when it came down to it he was only upset with himself. He used to get a rise out of me which would almost always result in my walking away from the argument feeling a little more broken each time. After learning more about my own personal anxiety and accepting that my ex was most likely bipolar, I began to find new ways of dealing with arguments and conversations.
Even now there are moments when I want to scream at a person, but my bigger understanding reminds me that the person is only trying to transfer some of their own pain. They don't do this intentionally. It's another attempt at survival, although a poor one as it tends to alienate people further.