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Relationship problems
My boyfriend and I were together 2 years ago in another state, and were together a year and a half before splitting because I was moving interstate and I was sick of the way his best friend treated me and my boyfriend not doing anything about it. My boyfriend has now moved to the same state as me and we have been together about 2 months now. His sister and his best friend's ex-girlfriend are now living in the same state also, but I don't get along at all with his best friend's ex-girlfriend. My boyfriend has been going to parties and gatherings at this girl's place a lot and it bothers me because he doesn't invite me to any of his social gatherings until I bring it up. I won't go because when my boyfriend drinks he becomes silly. Last time he was drinking he kicked me in the eye and now it is permanently damaged. I won't go to social gatherings with his best friend's ex-girlfriend despite my boyfriend saying her and her friends have changed. My boyfriend and I constantly argue now because of this and I don't know what to do.
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So you are upset he doesn't invite you, but you don't want to go anyway? Why continue with a man who know he cannot hold his liquor well, yet continues to drink?
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I want to be included in his life. I don't go to social gatherings because I don't really have many friends. I avoid going to gatherings where that group is because the worst situation was being chased by a group of men and I don't want something like that to happen again because I know that I'm not protected around them. He says that he only drinks socially. The last time he drank he fell off playground equipment and kicked me in the eye, which is now permanently damaged. Since then I've said I don't want to be around him when he drinks, but when he goes to social gatherings he drinks.
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okay so i understand you not having many friends and all that, gotcha. However, why do you want to be friends with people who treat you badly? with people who seem like they don't like you? don't be friends with people like that.
i think the problem with you bf however it's a little more complicated. maye you two should seat and have a talk. honestly , i don't i'll be with someone who excludes me from the social events that he is going to or who doesn't know how to control his alcohol. no healthy relationship can work if both parties don't work on it. hopes that helps. good luck.
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I don't want to be friends with a lot of the people in his social group. It just so happens that he's very close friends with a lot of them. I've tried to talk to my boyfriend many a time, he blames it on my 'negativity' and that he doesn't have a choice because he's not going to stop being friends with his friends and so the easiest way for him is to keep us disparate. The drinking part, he says, is for fun. That things are positive when he drinks and if we're both drunk we can have fun. He says he has control of his alcohol after damaging my eye. He doesn't remember a thing from that night. He told me that his friends have changed and that I should give them a chance, doubtful, but I guess I'll go to the next party and see how it pans out.
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ok so go to the next party. see how they treat you and if they have really change than you try to approach them a little more. the situation with your bf however, i still don't understand how fun can it be being drunk. i think people can be sober and still have a good time. you don't really need alcohol in your sistem to have a good time or to hang out with friends. but that just me, i could be wrong.o.0
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I'm the same, I can have fun without alcohol. I'll try that, I'm doubtful they would've changed...but I'll just stand my ground and leave if I can't tolerate it. Thank you for all your help
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you welcome and good luck ;)