Unsure about next phase of our relationship..

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16-01-10, 06:56 PM
Jaden

Unsure about next phase of our relationship..

I dont even really know where to start so I will try to cut down to the basics. I met this guy 2 years ago online. We became friends, then later we got involved doing sexual stuff via webcam. We where both in our teens so it was like a learning phase for both of us. Next thing we fell in love. Problem was that I live in Alberta Canada and he in Los Angelas California. We ended up meeting in Las Vegas. We had planned to be together for 5 days but he could only spend one, due to a work situation. Nevertheless, it was the best night of my life.. and Im not saying that just because we had sex. Once I got back to Canada we continued to talk and be friends via skype, like usual. I am totally smitten at this point and want to be with him. I finished college so it would seem doable. Im scared though to talk to him about this because we only had one night together. I feel like we are really close though, and know so much of each other.

Did I mention I am gay? well, that is probably irrelevent but I never dated my entire life because the local scene was just terrible. I know is it super rare to find someone youve been friends with for so long (who is gay) and also have a sexual connection. I dont know how to progess with the relationship. The logical part of me is like THIS IS CRAZY because i would have to leave my family and friends behind to be with him... whilst the romantic part is acheing everyday for him to hold my hand in person and just be together. I dont know what to do.

When we first met he was an ordinary college student like me. Then as time progressed he became a very famous musician. I just graduated and I cant get work in my industry due to the economy. Sometimes I feel like it isnt my place to bring up a serious topic like being together unless I am as successful as him.. because I want to be an equal partner.
16-01-10, 09:26 PM
vashti

I think you should definitely get together in person more if you want to see where this will go. One night of connection really isn't anything at all... a person doesn't begin to act like themselves until they have spent up to a year together.... that's why they call it the "honeymoon period".
16-01-10, 09:45 PM
starbuck

I wouldn't feel inferior because of his celebrity. As you said, he was just like you once, only minus the fame. Would it hurt to talk to him about your feelings and see where he stands on the subject?

The worst he can say is that the feelings aren't mutual, right?
17-01-10, 07:24 AM
Jaden

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I think you should definitely get together in person more if you want to see where this will go. One night of connection really isn't anything at all... a person doesn't begin to act like themselves until they have spent up to a year together.... that's why they call it the "honeymoon period".

I would love to do that but its fairly impossible due to distance and finances. I can't expect him to pay for everything all the time. It is almost like we need to make a dramatic choice or not even consider "the next phase".
17-01-10, 07:35 AM
Jaden

Quote:

Originally Posted by starbuck [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I wouldn't feel inferior because of his celebrity. As you said, he was just like you once, only minus the fame. Would it hurt to talk to him about your feelings and see where he stands on the subject?

The worst he can say is that the feelings aren't mutual, right?

I hate bringing up serious topics like this but your probably right.
17-01-10, 07:36 AM
tropigal82

Well have you considered a temporary relocation to LA? Just go and live there for 6 or 12 months and see what happens!
17-01-10, 07:57 AM
Jaden

Quote:

Originally Posted by tropigal82 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well have you considered a temporary relocation to LA? Just go and live there for 6 or 12 months and see what happens!

I definitely have considered that. However since I'm Canadian it would be next to impossible to find an employer to sponsor a work visa. Without work, I could not survive in LA. On a random note, he has a great deal of money and could just pay my way in theory but I would feel horrible about going down that route. From the start of our relationship I have been a fair partner and I kind of want it to stay that way. For instance when we met in Las Vegas I paid for everything even though I was near broke. I also buy him gifts from time to time. Going to LA is impossible unless he wants to help out (which he has never brought up by the way). I asked him before if he could come to Canada and I could help with his expenses (even though that wouldn't really be necessary...) but it could never work because he absolutely has to stay in California or risk losing his record deal that he worked for years to obtain. I really don't know what is the right choice given all these obstacles.