im really confused. i just dont know how to get girls on my side :'(

okay, im a guy whos kinda struggling with girls at the moment. i was wondering if u guys could help by answering a few questions that have really been bugging me for ages now.
here they are:

1)you see this gorgeous girl, who makes ur jaw drop and eyes pop! you really wanna talk to her? how do u approach her without looking like a complete knob?

2)how do carry on start a convo? something like: ur talkin about college, and start takin piss out of things like teacher, so you sound funny? or not?..either way, HELP!

3) is it true that the more u make a girl laugh, the more she'll like you. and eventually (after a long time) she'll want you to ask her out?

4) im a guy that doesn't have that many friends, i dont drink and i dont party much. but im NOT GEEKY, im pretty safe, quite funny, very selfless towards girls and finally *quoted by my sis*: "im pretty handsome"....does the fact that im not popular and i dont drink matter? or does it?