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Originally Posted by
Pettit-Papillon
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Love it or leave hehehe
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"I'm completely shocked. That's the first time I've ever heard a French Woman say that. Hey, we're in the frozen food aisle, hold for a sec... I need some Freedom Fries"
(said with a jovial grin)
Might have been my approach.
But you would have acted disgusted then walked away thinking,
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What did that guy just say to me?? And how come he maintained total eye contact? Not once did I see him check my boobs or arse out. Is he some kind of Purity fiend? He creeps me out. What's wrong with my boobs and arse? Not good enough for him? Why didn't he look? I'm all that and a bit! Is he a direct eye contact orgasmer or something? Shit... now he's walking out of this aisle I'm just walking into. Damn, he's got a nice arse. Wait, I just didn't say that?? What causes some weird but nice arsed guy to say that to a princess of a woman in a supermarket? I'm a princess, aren't I? Damn right I am. I'm a goddess. Goddesses have vaginas too!!! Isn't he supposed to say something like, "Hey, baby... we're in the frozen peas section and I'm burning up for your bod. Let's get out of here before we end up eating vegetarian for dessert?"
I'm going to check him out when he walks away because he's soooo weird. Like a train wreck, I cannot look away... but nice butt. At least he chooses decent butt bearing jeans.
Before, during, and after all this I would have solely been thinking...
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"She's uniquely beautiful. Not only in the flesh. There's something about her which makes her rare proverbial flaws to popular opinion into something which just captivates me. I don't know why, or what even. She's stunning, simply stunning. It's like she's a motion picture. I hear the dialogue but I feel the backstory better. There's this weird connection. There are millions of women out there, even billions, and most of them want my money, status, or cock in whatever order tugs on their life strings. This one could be the same as the ones I've met or thrown myself on when I want to pretend I'm still 17 when old age beckons in another 20-30 years. But wait, sex is still important, but I need someone that I love. I want someone I can both make love to and have kinky sex, at the same time if possible... anything to do with ceiling fans, bungee straps, and casually spread vegemite.... ooooo.. vaggg geeehhh myyyy t... yum
Screw it, I'm changing aisles and perving on her another 100th time through the gaps in the breakfast cereal. God I hate breakfast cereal....oooo... look! She's sneering between the corn flakes and raisin bran. She's acting like I'm a major headcase or downer. She never dropped eye contact the whole time before and I'm wearing my favourite pair of jeans. My arse is so so, but these jeans are the best. I wish I bought another 3 from the same brand, different cuts and colours. I'd look good more days per week. Oh, shit... she's in the toilet tissue aisle now! Should I bump into her again when she's contemplating fragrance free or hypo-allergenic?
Crap, did she just perve on me or is she reacting to the overriding smell of chlorinated cleaning products and it's actually a scowl??
They're still beautiful lips, whatever they're doing.
and you're thinking the whole time:
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There's Mister Butthead again... crap, he's coming this way and I'm standing in front of bog roll. Crap, there's feminine hygiene products to the left and condoms/personal lubricant to the right. Okay, bat your lashes at him. That'll distract him. He's male. And then I'll make my escape. (but I want to get a closer look at him through the pasta sauce jar gaps in the next aisle. There's something about him. He's like a floppy eared bunny but with worn hair patches and a confrontational theme choice in T-shirts. He's probably an overgrown child.... I remember when I was a teen.... sigh.... What am I doing with my life. x failed relationships and all my friends have great husbands and boyfriends, but I'm still single? I've been cursed, this whole package I've got...wasted. What was I in a previous life? A banker or insurance salesman at Auschwitz? I'm buying premium imported cheese and bisquits with sun dried X's. It's movie night and then I'll talk to my best gf who will make me feel like a loser because she "has it all".
I'm gauging the expressions on your face and thinking...
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Am I like epileptic eye candy? They always do that. Shit, I put on deodorant today, didn't I? right..... next aisle, quick pit spray, and she'll round the corner none the wiser and not grimacing this time.
Who am I kidding? I should finally and fully break down, commit myself to my career, and get a blow up something or another... At least I know where I'm standing... (next to an air compressor)
You get to the check out line faster than I do (because I'm still perving and like the rear vantage point).
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I want a girl like that. Maybe not her exactly (she wears that funny looking X fashion accessory. It's nowhere near real looking. Why bother? Why are the hottest chicks always so odd and frivilous?)
I finish paying for my groceries and walk out to my car, but don't spot you in your car doing something very important in your glove box or purse. You gaze up after I've passed and think:
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There he is getting into his car. Oh, yuck. Only X type of people drive those. I drive a Y and it's me to a T. I've only considered going out with guys who either drive an A, B, D, L, M, O, or H (if it's a nice balance between humble and sporty that is). Oooo look he has to leap in, I got to see his muscle tone! Definitely a 5 out of 10, possibly a 7ish.
As I creep away and past your car, I think:
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I've got a good insurance rating. I should tap into her plastic bumper, the lightest of touches. I'd only be up for 300 in premium and I'd get her contact details. But she drives one of those Y cars. They throw the whole car away and charge you for a new one. Moment of decision... what to do?! She is cute though... I should have asked her out, but we were in the supermarket. Chicks always act so weird when you don't act sleazy at them in a supermarket. At least you know what to expect in a pub or club.
You watch me drive away pondering:
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I should have asked his opinion on toilet paper. They all spend most of their time in their anyway. sigh......... it doesn't matter, so and so and I are hitting the newest disco this Friday. We'll have a dance, good time, few drinks, and shoot down the proposals from the desperate guys around closing time while loving it.
...and we (they, he, she, them, those) never get to know each other. We move on in life until such time as another toilet paper aisle situation develops and neither of us falter that time.
:D
(obviously, unknown things happen in all scenarios. Even the silly. It's just a skill in gauging it and them correctly. Such is life. )