28 year old GirlFriend has moved out because mom said so

I am a 28 year old guy. I had been staying with a 28 year old girlfriend for 7 months until recently when she moved out.
I invited her to come and stay with me. We started building a life together e.g buying furniture for the house etc. She says that she doesn't want to move out but that if her mom doesn't approve she can't stay with me. I went to her mom to try and ask for her persmission but predictably she didn't want any of it.

The problem is since she moved out i have become very moody and unhappy even though she only stays 800m from my house which is part of the problem. We are both working professionals. I intend to marry this lady but right now i am in pain because i miss her presence. I wish i could spend every possible moment with her. The plan was and still is to get married in 2 years but i can't wait that long. At the same time i cannot just commit to marriage because i want to stay with her. I want to marry her when we are both ready.

Any advice on how i can get over this? Thanks

An overbearing mother-in-law type figure, and a girlfriend without the ability to live her own life. Oh, which is worse.

She'll be ready for marriage once she cuts that cord. I don't know what to tell you about your current moodiness. My advice is to think long and hard about this woman and her decision; why as a grown woman is she letting her mother decide things for her.

Is there any other reason the mother doesn't like you personally?

I think mom stuff seems like an excuse. You want to be with her 24/7 pretty much (as you mentioned) and she just doesn't feel ready for that yet so she's making excuses.

What is her mother's reasoning behind wanting her daughter to move out? Is she really old fashioned and thinks you'll never marry her if you live with her or does she just dislike you in particular?

Look at this as a warning sign. If you marry this girl, she may never cut those apron strings and you could end up with a bad mother-in-law. I've had one of those. You don't want anything to do with that.

You don't just marry a girl, you marry her family. This girl's family is a pain.

where are you from?

Moved to 'love advice' forum.

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Originally Posted by trebloc [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I intend to marry this lady but right now i am in pain because i miss her presence. I wish i could spend every possible moment with her. The plan was and still is to get married in 2 years but i can't wait that long.

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So, marry her. If you are so sure she's the right girl, why are you dragging your feet?

I agree with whomever said this is probably more about the "why buy the cow" argument, which actually has a lot of merit.

And your girlfriend is probably just letting her mom be the "hit man", taking the blame for her daughter's concerns.

Uhm, you're both adults and she's quite capable of telling her own mother to shove off. She's not enforcing her boundaries and life choices. That's going to cause you future problems in your relationship, you should probably find someone new or get her to grow a spine.

I don't think so. I do visit her mom regularly, at least once a month. I have never gotten the impression that she doesn't like me. If it helps, we have been dating for 8 months and we happened to work in the same office.

South Africa

i'll give you two scenarios. she's an adult and she can decide what she wants to do. if she is going to be a baby and listen to her mother's every demand then she's not ready for marriage. i'm sure that if her mother isn't ready for the two of you to live together, giving up her daughter is far from the present.

secondly, maybe she herself isn't ready to move in with you. sure you might be buying furniture, but when it comes to the actual moving in part, she's might not be ready for that change. give her some time because it sounds like you're trying to rush this process. if you're going to marry her, then she's not going anywhere for the time being.

raverboy

Drop her, you're not her Daddy and she needs to make these choices herself, you have no reason to bother trying to convince her to break the cord. Let her make and take responsibility for her choices.