warning: I wrote a bit of a story here.

small version: he's taking alone time and took it without warning or explanation. i'm clingy,need to work on it, but he never talks to me about these things. what do i do?

story version: i'm clingy. i'm not terrible, could definately be worse, but the first step is to admitting it,right? and i can definately work on it.

however,john(my significant other) has never had a problem with it until now, when he suddenly threw up the deuces a few days ago for some 'him time'. that means no calling, no texting, nothing-and he doesn't know how long his me-time will last. not even an explanation of why, so i've come to my own conclusion of his reasons. i have definately tried time and time again to talk with him about many things, and i have implored him for just one conversation so that we may fix this situation together.

the day before he blew me off a date for beer with friends (which i never complained about because i know i can be clingy), he told me he was still a bit upset that he had found out i had lied about smoking pot for two months. of course i quit that adventure for him. (did i forget to mention he went out with and tried to makeout with one of my friends one night and i just happened to find him out sooner than he found out my one lie?). So i figure that has a bit to do with it as well. Other than that one lie, I have kept nothing from this man. But i go crazy when i dont have an answer for things, so i send him a few texts- no more than four for an entire day like 'i love you' or 'lets talk about this and i'll be happy to give you space' . I never get replies unless you count his 'idk' s and 'just need space' as replies. i WANT an explanation, but despite my desperation for that i feel i have done quite well in leaving him be.

see,the thing is i don't have friends. i just can't make any, and my last close friend was more than two years ago. I've tried to make friendships but over the years i have just given up. I'm not an unfriendly person, only a bit quiet and when i make a friend i naturally give all my loyalty to and expect from them the same loyalty. maybe that's a lot to ask. but john and i have been together nearly a year and he is my world, the relationship has had the normal faults and has been very smooth and enjoyable, he just doesn't care for personal talks which is tolerable until the time for communication is necessary.

I have realized my faults. I know what I need to correct. But it's impossible to do that without him meeting me halfway with a dignified conversation. I want this relationship to last, and i believe it can. However lately i feel i care much more about our relationship than he does-i know he's not a very affectionate person but it's been so long since i've heard him say i love you on his own. A woman needs to hear that, to feel she is cared for, or at least have it known to her somehow. I don't get that, but I know he still feels that way for me merely because he is not one to stick around and waste time with someone he doesn't care for at all.

I want our relationship to last, and I believe it can. I've thought before that i can see myself with him in marriage (although this is not shared with him because I am unsure of how exactly he sees our relationship and it would scare him away). We are a strong couple, if only he would talk to me when things trouble him.

I unloaded on him in a voicemail and a two-part text message that i'm not even sure he checked earlier. I broke down, couldn't help myself.

I just need some guidance with this damn man. I feel like I'm putting the most effort in our relationship. What can I do while I wait for him to finish his 'me-time'? How can I relate to him how his seemingly indifferent attitude towards me hurts me so? Do you think there's a chance out of this and how can I pull us out of this rut- or better yet, inspire him to work with me out of this rut?

Thank you to those who read through this. I need help.

You're a little bit of a piece of work, but he's a straight-up asshole. I don't think he's good for you. I can't believe you didn't say anything about him blowing off a date because you didn't want to seem "clingy", and now you're putting up with him just going into radio silence mode.

You do sound like a pain in the ass, but it's nothing to John. He sucks and you should leave him.