is this my fault?

wer married for 3yrs now. we got 1 daughter. when she got pregnant in 2007, i decided na wag na sya mag work. medyo naging magulo ung relationship namen when our baby came out. i noticed that all her attention is always for our baby. tlgang napabayaan nya sarili nya para sa anak namen. (parang naging losyang) honestly naging tamad din tlga ako for them. to make the long story short. napabayaan ko po tlga cla ng 2years. cguro she felt that i didnt love her anymore. alam mo un, ung tipong ala n tlga sex at d nko natabi sa kanya.. so i decided to find her i new job. para naman ma miz ko sya. nag work na sya but still ganon pa rin ako. d k p rin sya maasikaso. the 1st 4mnths of her work is ok. but it started this xmas. nag paalam sya na may lakad daw cla ng friend nya. un na nga, i felt na parang nawawala na sya saken. un pala meron na sya affair. NAGULAT ako. i didnt expect na she can do that.d k tlga matangap na nangyari un. so i decided to leave together w/ my daughter..i dont know wat happen but ever since i find out that im loosing her my love for her starting to grow again. i feel that i cant lose her. i realize that i love her so much. tama tlga ung saying na. you never know wat your loosing until its totally gone. sobrang magulo tlga buhay ko. i started crying all day long. even my job is being affected. now she texted me, nag sosorry! d daw nya kaya mawala kme. so pinilit ko sya mag sabi ng totoo. if she want us to be ok sbi ko she need to explain all wats happen. so un na nga. sabi nya nag bar daw sya. tapos un may nkpagkilala. tpos un may nangyari na kagad. WTF! i cant expain wat i feel in that moment. she said it happen twice. but i dunno if shes telling the truth. the second one is the time na nag bago nako, kya un ung pnka hard part saken. So un na nga. nag sorry sya in what happen. i think she's feels guilty in what happen. tinangap ko po sya! i blame myself why this happen to us. today im giving all ive got to make her love me again. im doing not normal things i that didnt do before. the hard part is every time i say her i cant forget wat happen to us. what she do to me. ndi ko tlga matangap na may nka SEX syang iba. na i think even 10yrs from now, d k kya kalimutan.. ang hirap2 tlga. minsan nga tlga affected ung work ko at day to day activities ko. d tlga ako makapag move on. minsan nga iniisip ko na kya lng bumalik saken wife ko kc naawa sya saken at sa anak namen. ayaw ko naman ng ganon. ang gsto ko kaya sya bumalik kc MAHAL nya p rin ako. and sometimes i notice my wife na there is sumthing bothering her. somethings i feel that she doesnt love me anymore. tntanong ko pero sabi love daw nya ko. pinag reresign ko sya sa work pero ayaw nya. wat happen to me now is totally the different me. i always waiting for her to get home. i always miz her always. mas importante na ngyn ung work nya kaysa saken. i need some advice po. wat will i do. do i leave once again and try my luck if she will back to me again. natatakot naman ako kc bka pag umalis ako magkta ulet sila ni lucky guy. later on i found out that the lucky guy is her staff in the ofis. wow! gsto ko n mamatay!

now, were doing fine. but the pain is still der. were having sex na pero everytime i do it grabe, parang naaasar ako kc may gumamit n iba sa kanya, parang insecure pako. i can see her effort. nabbgay ko sa kanya lahat ng d ko maibgay before. minsan nga nagtataka ako bkt ganon lng kadali sa kanya ung nangyari, ung tipong parang wala lang.bkt ganon sya? i know nman na she loves me pa rin but im also thinking na no choice kc sya at ako tlga kailangan nya piliin not because we have a baby but also because wala tlga sya mapapala dun sa guy na nagbgay sa kanya ng attention. btw, ung lucky guy pla is also married and may anak n rin. haayyyy! gsto ko tlga gantihan ung lalaki pag nkta ko un.. grrrr... ngyn even were ok na. lage p rin ako tulala kc naiisip ko tama pa ba na magbalikan kme? ang sakit kc tlga!

guys i need advice so badly! tnx!