Recovering from "Can we be friends first?"

I've been on four dates with this splendid gal (She's turning 20, I'm 21.)

1st/2nd outing during Valentine's day weekend.
3rd on the 23rd (surprise visit by me)
and 4th last Sat. on the 27th (zoo/movie/sushi/friend's concert)

-She's only be in one serious relationship which lasted 5 months, last year.
-She initiated her share of conversations and seemed to like me, her suitemates even told me so on the side
-We started holding hands and she was real responsive on Saturday

I think I may have moved too fast for her, after our 'playdate' on Saturday she IM'ed me on Sunday saying:

"hey I'm not really sure what we are right now... but can we be friends first? I don't even know how I feel about this whole thing and its just all happening so fast."

She had to then sign off so I didn't get a chance to respond but our chat later that day:

Me: hey hey
Me: so like I said earlier before you had to go off on your adventure
Me: I was thinking the same thing
Me: and I just want to let you know there's no pressure for any thing
Me: I understand you're a busy big kid (inside joke)
Me: but I'd still like to get to know you better because I see how much of an awesome loser (inside joke) you are and that you're worth the drive to and from
Me: :)
Her: hahaha yaaaaaaaaaay :)
Her: thank you
Me: slow and easy ... if anything comes out, great
Me: it'll let us get to know each other better and build up more rapport/stuff before anything else
Me: dontcha agree? :)
Her: si si!
Her: :)

So I set up something casual:

Me: you know, I have to go down to SD again this weekend
Me: i think on.....sunday?
Me: come to church with me! we can maybe grab some lunch afterwards with s**** and the peeps if they're down
Me: yeah? :)
Her:: church?
Her:: hahahaha
Her:: i''ve been church hopping
Me: hey dont make fun of me
Me: dont judge!
Me: i thought it was cool last time
Me: and i want to go again
Me: im going with or without you either way
Me: so ;p
Her:: ive been going to my catholic church and my friend's church
Her:: hahahahahahaha
Her:: YAAAAAAAAAY
Her:: and next week im def going to my church
Her:: so
Her:: YAY
Her:: THANKS

We chatted on the phone for around 20min yesterday and had some good laughs, I called her after she sent me an IM and the she had to go but she called me back a few min later.

So...treat it as a friendly outing and avoid 'couple things' such as holding hands, arms, etc. During one of the prayers though, they have everyone hold hands and I could make some humor out of that haha.. Then quick lunch afterwards, just be myself and have some fun.

Two weeks after that on 3/20, I have to drive my sister and her friends down to SD for a color guard competition. Maybe I can ask her to come with me? And in between that time, don't plan anything unless she initiates it?

I understand she wants to take it slow and get to know me better as a person and in the long run that is what makes a relationship work instead of one that started quickly, but I'm not sure at what pace to move at now that we're taking a step back. Like after her friend's concert on saturday, as I was walking to one of the food stores on campus with her friends, I dangled my hand/fingers behind my back for her to grab and she did playfully...on the way back, she copied me and I grabbed it playfully. So going from walking arm in arm, holding hands, hugs...to nothing.

Any other details/tidbits you guys like to know, let me know! Thanks in advance for any insight/advice :)