other peoples opinion needed!!!

hi there, im new to all this so i really hope im posting this to the right place!

im 24 year old women who has a daughter of 5, i split up with her dad in april 2008 after a terroble break up in the july of that year i met a new man who was 18.... we spent about 4month together then ended after he thought i was coming across to heavy. i found that break up really hard and couldnt stop thinking about him... we spent 5month apart but still spoke to eachother via txt or facebook, in the time he got back with his ex before me for about 3month, then came back to me..... weve been together for nearly a year now.

The problem is i have so many of my friends opinions in my head that i dont know what to think....... when we got back together, he wouldnt tell me we were in a relationship! he would tell other people and wasnt having sex with anyone else, but between us, we were "mates" i dont know what we could call eachother.

Now were finally in a relationship and i dont see him very often, once/twice a week sometimes not even that, he works nights which i understand that but were really not getting anywhere...... we dont go out, pictures, meals etc our relationship is based on he sees me when he wants but i cant let him go!

we say we love eachother and i believe that we could posibly have a future if he was to put somemore effort into our relationship! i know im older with a child and hes now just turned 20... but why cant we give eachother up?! it would be fair on both of us if we did, but we cant. or do all you guys think im possibly being played and hes just using me for some comfort when he decides to because alot of my mates seem to think that. but i honestly do believe he does love me.

id be very gratefull to hear other peoples opinion on this...... thanks for reading

xx

It sounds like you need more in your life and a relationship than just a guy that wants to be around whenever he feels like it. I treated my girlfriends like that in the past and they all got sick of it and dumped me. It was more a selfish act of being with them when I wanted to, and they had to comply. You also want a little something in your life, some romance, doing some public things, sharing the "love" you two have with the world. It doesn't sound like much of a relationship to me.

You care about him but he isn't giving you what you need. If you already told him this and he is being stubborn about it, time to cut the cord. I know it's not easy to meet people being a single mom and I don't know what your dating scene is like, but there has to be somebody out there that likes you and can treat you with respect.

He's younger than you, you have a child, and he doesn't appear to want to tie the knot yet.

You sound like you need assurances and guarantees. He doesn't.