Ending of a 4 1/2 year relationship? Or not? Need help!
Hi,
I'm 21 and my boyfriend of 4 1/2 years just broke up with me wednesday night after we had a conflict about not being able to see eachother. See we have been in a long distance relationship for 2 1/2 years after I moved to another state to go to college. We have been going pretty much strong the whole time and we were planning on being together after he finished up his school as well.
He had promised me he would never let me down, that he loved me, and that someday he would marry me. Then all of the sudden when I was upset about not being able to see eachother when he cancelled plans because something came up he said that he was done with all of this. When I talked to him later he said he only considered me as a friend, he didn't love me like that anymore, and stuff. But he still wants to talk to me and he still considers me his best friend. I find that really hard to actually believe because the night before he was professing his love to me. And there were no warning signs at all. When I asked him he said that he just "had to make a decision", but honestly things cannot be that black and white. AND...
I have no idea what is going on because this exact same situation has happened twice before. Both of those times he swore we would never get back together, and of course we did. And it also happened around a time where something was changing majorly in his life like a move, or something (this time he is going off to a different college in the midwest). I'm not sure whether to take what he said seriously, or think of it as the same old trend and just see what happens.
Also, I just find it hard to believe that after 4 1/2 years and after telling me he loved me that he can honestly say he doesn't at all suddenly. That we are just friends and only friends and that he doesn't think of me that way. This boy only thinks in black and white, and sticks with his decisions until they die down and he "forgets" why he chose them. The other weird thing is that there were no signs that this was going to happen and I'm not a blind person. I saw him 2 weeks before this and we were totally lovey-dovey and talking about future plans and stuff and he cuddled me and told me everything would work out. But right after he dumped me he also said that he wants to still keep me as his "good friend" and talk to me more than he talks to his guy friends because i am "special" but that we "will never get back together." And then a few days later he says, "things are working out like they have to"...implying that this isn't what he wants but it is how he wants to be.
I just need to know what people think so I can figure out how to deal with this in my head. Either he is telling the truth and I need to just drop him. Or he is pulling the same shit as the 2 times before and we will get back together sometime and I just need to be patient and trust that.
What do you think?