Should I feel betrayed?

Hi all,

Right, well me and my partner of 2 years broke up about 3 weeks ago. It was originally suppose to be a 'break' because she needed some time to herself. We had spent the past 6 months living abroad just the two of us and being together 24/7 for 6 months took its toll (as I imagined it would with anyone) by the end there was not much conversation. I agreed to this because I wanted things to be perfect between and I thought some time by herself would be good to things back on the right track.

Well, since then we have been speaking regularly and seeing each other once a week. Then on Monday I received a message from her to say that she cant go on like this and that she want to be single and doesnt know how long for and cares about me too much to string me along. I was heart broken when we were first suppose to go on a break and though on monday I felt that pain again apart of me felt relieved because I knew where I stood.

We then spent yesterday together talking everything through. It was all amicable and there is 100% still something there, we both feel it. We said that we will stay good friends because we both still love each other very much. I asked her was there anyone else because I felt maybe if there was it would be easier for me. I was told there wasn't and that if she wanted to be in a relationship that it would be with. I felt happy knowing that I was so important to her.

But there was something eating away at me and I couldn't put my finger on it, something not quite right. This is where I was in the wrong. I just wanted to know what she was feeling, so I checked her email. (I know that this is a terrible thing to do and I so regret it now) There was one to her friend where they were talking about this bloke that she had slept with at the weekend and that how she likes him but he is not that interested in her. I feel so betrayed that she has slept with someone before she completely broke up with me. I feel absolutely gutted. Esp after all that she had said to me.

Now I don't know what I feel, where I am or what to do. I still love her so so much, but part of me just wants to ignore her because of this, the other part thinks I should tell her I know and the other part thinks I should just forget about it because I was also in the wrong.

What does anyone else think? Whilst writing this I have just received a text message from her too to ask if I fancy going out with her tomorrow. God I am so lost. Please tell me your thoughts...

I've snooped in email before. I found out some things that I needed to know. I didn't WANT to know them, but I needed to know.

The thing is, you were on a "break", which I think is something people should never agree to in the first place. It's a gray area. Technically, you weren't really together, even if you weren't really broken up.

That's not the main issue, though, in my opinion. The thing I think needs to be addressed is this "good friends" thing. Don't do that. Spend a couple of hours looking at threads on this forum to find out why, or just trust me. Don't do it. She broke up with you and that should be enough. Staying friends with your ex only works when there are no residual feelings.

I know the break part is a grey are but I thought that I was worth more than that.

Trust me I know how hard it is. But as I said there is still something there between us, even though from reading what I wrote you probably think that there is something there only from me. There is definately still something very strong between us there, I can feel it everytime we kiss. (which we still do when we meet up). I just thought that being friends, for now anyway, would be a good way to keep that between us. I know this sounds desperate but I really dont want to let this go.

She slept with someone else, you want sloppy 2nd's, 3rd's, 4th's... She's a cheating whore, stop talking to her!

That is pretty blunt, but you cant help how you feel!!

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Originally Posted by Im in peices. [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I know the break part is a grey are but I thought that I was worth more than that.

Trust me I know how hard it is. But as I said there is still something there between us, even though from reading what I wrote you probably think that there is something there only from me. There is definately still something very strong between us there, I can feel it everytime we kiss. (which we still do when we meet up). I just thought that being friends, for now anyway, would be a good way to keep that between us. I know this sounds desperate but I really dont want to let this go.

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Then get back together with her. Friends don't kiss. Friends don't have romantic feelings for one another. Who do you think you're kidding?

If it is that easy then I would.

I want to, she doesn't. It takes two to tango as they say. I think it is just something that I will have to put behind me as it was great while it lasted and just try and move on from here.

Thanks for alll the advise. I have taken it all on board.

I text her yesterday after she asked me if I wanted to spent today together and after first sayign yes, I went back on it and told her that I didnt think it was a good idea as I need to move on. To which she didnt seem to like. I think it was because I have finally taken control. She came back and said that she doesnt think that we should speak so much. Which I think will work after reading all of your comments.

Further to this, I have been asked out on a date this saturday which I will go on. I know it might sound like a 'rebound' but this girl has done all the chasing and she knows my situation so all of the cards are on the table. Also, she has just broken up with he ex bf so it will all be light hearted fun, which is what I need at the moment.

Thanks for all of your replies

Its good that it is over between you two, but be careful with this new girl. You both just broke up. This is a potential double rebound. I'd be extremely surprised to see a double rebound relationship work out. Have fun, avoid sex with her, and take things slow.

I will be taking things slow, the last thing that I want (and for a very long time) is a serious longterm relationship. I am just going take each day as it comes.

I have been looking for work since I have been back and have just recieved job offers in Paris and Antigua. So another reason for me to take things slowly, I dont want to string anyone along like I have been.