Just like all of you out there.....

I am suffering from a broken heart. It has been about a month now since my ex broke up with me. I'll try to make this as brief as possible but you should probably have a little insight before you can form any opinions or judgments. So here we go...I realize now that things were going downhill for a while.Neither one of us were happy. We moved pretty quick. I had a daughter on the way when we got together. Then 6 months into our relationship she was pregnant with my son. I don't think we really had enough time to be free and truly have fun. We tried but with 2 kids it can be hard. She told me she loves me but wasn't in love anymore. Later on she told me that she felt we would eventually get back together but not to hold my breath. She told one friend of mine pretty much the same thing and even referred to me as a soulmate. Her main reason for staying broke up right now is that she is enjoying the single life and has never in her life really been independent. She wants to know that she can be. I've been pretty desperate. I even bought an ebook only to realize later that most of the info was already out there for free. I've been trying not to make the mistakes that I read about all the time but I just can't help it. Around a week ago we had one last fling and I told her that I was truly able to try and let her go.I was lying of course.This weekend she used my daughter as an excuse to see me I believe. The next day she used her hangover as an excuse not to take me back to my friends house. We had a quite night,watched some tv and talked.Everything was cool but not romantic by any means. I played it pretty cool but still let a few things slip that I don't think I should have. The next day she was pretty crabby but I handled it pretty well. One minute she's inviting me and my daughter to go with her and my son to a birthday party and a few hours later she's not so sure. I want to distance myself from her which in my gut seems to be the best thing to do but I keep getting sucked back in.So that's the long story short. I appreciate anybody out there who takes the time to read this and offers me some kind of opinion or advice. Also on a side note our 3 year anniversary would have been on May 1st. I honestly don't think we'll be back together by then. If we can reconcile I think it's gonna take some time. Anyways,My gut is saying not to call her and if she calls me that's a good sign.What do you guys think?

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Originally Posted by misfit_304 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I am suffering from a broken heart. It has been about a month now since my ex broke up with me. I'll try to make this as brief as possible but you should probably have a little insight before you can form any opinions or judgments. So here we go...I realize now that things were going downhill for a while.Neither one of us were happy. We moved pretty quick. I had a daughter on the way when we got together. Then 6 months into our relationship she was pregnant with my son. I don't think we really had enough time to be free and truly have fun. We tried but with 2 kids it can be hard. She told me she loves me but wasn't in love anymore. Later on she told me that she felt we would eventually get back together but not to hold my breath. She told one friend of mine pretty much the same thing and even referred to me as a soulmate. Her main reason for staying broke up right now is that she is enjoying the single life and has never in her life really been independent. She wants to know that she can be. I've been pretty desperate. I even bought an ebook only to realize later that most of the info was already out there for free. I've been trying not to make the mistakes that I read about all the time but I just can't help it. Around a week ago we had one last fling and I told her that I was truly able to try and let her go.I was lying of course.This weekend she used my daughter as an excuse to see me I believe. The next day she used her hangover as an excuse not to take me back to my friends house. We had a quite night,watched some tv and talked.Everything was cool but not romantic by any means. I played it pretty cool but still let a few things slip that I don't think I should have. The next day she was pretty crabby but I handled it pretty well. One minute she's inviting me and my daughter to go with her and my son to a birthday party and a few hours later she's not so sure. I want to distance myself from her which in my gut seems to be the best thing to do but I keep getting sucked back in.So that's the long story short. I appreciate anybody out there who takes the time to read this and offers me some kind of opinion or advice. Also on a side note our 3 year anniversary would have been on May 1st. I honestly don't think we'll be back together by then. If we can reconcile I think it's gonna take some time. Anyways,My gut is saying not to call her and if she calls me that's a good sign.What do you guys think?

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Ok... I get really worked up when kids are involved. I stayed married for longer than I should have been because I didn't want to hurt my kids.
How can a woman really feel "single" with two small children? You guys are creating babies, but are not acting mature yourselves.
I'm sorry, but what's up with all this drama? Forget the romance and crap. TAKE CARE OF THE CHILDREN!!!!!!

She's enjoying single life and being independent and yet you guys are still hanging out together. Doesn't make much sense to me. When you are apart you hear about how you are the soulmate, yada yada, when you are hanging out it's not romantic and she doesn't want to do anything for you. Have some cake and eat it too? You bet...

She may like you and may want to be with you in the end, but she is also looking to what else is out there and trying to keep things fun and exciting. When you decided to have a child you have to understand that your fun and excitement is ready to take a backseat for a little while. Were you more of a burden than a support system for her? Like you said, everything was going down for a while and sometimes we do need time on our own to refresh ourselves and the relationship. Unfortunately the children make everything that much harder. If somebody came along and swooped her off her feet, do you think you would be her soulmate anymore? No. Until that happens, she will try and keep you around.

I don't know how to make her miss you when you have to take care of the child and see her and talk to her all the time...

Thank you guys for your replies.I would like to add that although things are not romantic at the moment she still makes efforts to do things for me which really confuses me.I want to make her miss me but like you said it's hard when there are kids involved.I would also like to add that I still see my kids a good bit.I'm living in my buddies basement right now but I still take my kids to my parents house and see them a few times a week.I work a full time job so I can't see them all the time in this situation.I love my kids and in noo way am ii neglecting them.Thanks again for your replies.Anymore more opinions would be greatly appreciated.