Being obsessive

I think I'm a bit obsessive about everything, and I have doubts if my view of a relationship is realistic.

What I'd like in a relationship is sharing everything with the other person, and being able to expend most if not all of my free time with her, is it normal? Most people I know just want to be a bit of time with the other one, but I've mostly heard guys talk about it and they are just interested in sex, so I don't know if that's a special case.

Maybe I am just emotionally immature and I behave like a teenager on this subject, it's a theory I've had for a while.

Everyone has those initial feelings at the beginning of every relationship. We spend nearly all of our waking hours thinking about this other person that has us so enraptured. However, if you seriously begin to allow your life to revolve around this other being and their life, you've got a problem.

Do you let your responsibilities slip because of a potential significant other? Homework, work, chores, y'know, the general upkeep of YOUR own life? Do you skip out on friends or family to be with this person? It's important to find some sort of balance otherwise one or both of you could end up feeling frustrated and resentful toward the other.

You've got to let the persons inside of each other grow independently, while together.

Initial love should be about a celebration of each other.... continued love should be about a celebration of change and evolution, while remaining together.

We are all still individuals up until our married and dying day, whether involved and invested or not.

Celebrate that fact... cherish it.

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Originally Posted by lahnnabell [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Do you let your responsibilities slip because of a potential significant other? Homework, work, chores, y'know, the general upkeep of YOUR own life? Do you skip out on friends or family to be with this person? It's important to find some sort of balance otherwise one or both of you could end up feeling frustrated and resentful toward the other.

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Well, I don't usually let my reponsibilities slip, I would if one day I'm really needed, but not for just being with someone, only if it's important.

Skipping friends and family.. I could say so, but I've never really been with them for long, so I don't know..

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Originally Posted by Doc Durian [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You've got to let the persons inside of each other grow independently, while together.

Initial love should be about a celebration of each other.... continued love should be about a celebration of change and evolution, while remaining together.

We are all still individuals up until our married and dying day, whether involved and invested or not.

Celebrate that fact... cherish it.

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I get we are individuals, and I'm extremely individualistic, but in this subject I just would like being able to be a lot of time with that someone. The alternative is usually being alone...

Maybe you fear abandonment?

I have an ex who I still think about 16 years to the day even though I refuse to speak to her and her me.

I chose the privacy of not being hurt...aka, single.

I was not perfect, but I was honest however that was shown.

So I live with that separation every day, week, month...but I live with hope of finding happiness outside of her.

We have common friends who I'm sure speak bluntly. I don't obsess about it anymore. I live my life with hope instead.


Try it.... it's all kosher...trust me.

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Originally Posted by Doc Durian [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Maybe you fear abandonment?
Try it.... it's all kosher...trust me.

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I might fear being alone, and abandonment implies that... I don't know, I've been alone for 20 years and I guess I'm afraid if I ever find someone I'd scare that person trying to be too much time with her..

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Originally Posted by the_robot [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I might fear being alone, and abandonment implies that... I don't know, I've been alone for 20 years and I guess I'm afraid if I ever find someone I'd scare that person trying to be too much time with her..

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It's all relative... There have been 20 something year married chicks who were scared to live another day with someone who didn't want to share a life with someone who didn't want to spend intimate and fun times with them.

Get out there, and be selective about who you let into your life. Just because a girl sizes you up with her eyes doesn't mean you'll be happy with her in the long run... despite how curvy or hot she would like you to view her as.

Girls play the game to their dying day... guys with age, want assurances.... a connection.

Get to it.

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Originally Posted by Doc Durian [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Get out there, and be selective about who you let into your life. Just because a girl sizes you up with her eyes doesn't mean you'll be happy with her in the long run... despite how curvy or hot she would like you to view her as.

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And how can you tell if a girl will make you happy long term? I find it hard, maybe impossible unless you have a time machine... I wish I had one of those >.>

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Originally Posted by the_robot [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

And how can you tell if a girl will make you happy long term? I find it hard, maybe impossible unless you have a time machine... I wish I had one of those >.>

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Not by what she necessarily says., but how she acts and appears.

Good people are honest to a fault. Don't discount when someone honestly says no to you.

Respect it...

....and cherish it if they say they want to get to know you better or deeper.

People can eclipse nature in beauty when they're sincere.

Yearn for that nature... it will come, eventually... and you'll be all the more happier for it.

Yeah.. I hope it happens some day.. you speak like a poet sometimes Doc Durian ;)