feels like I'm going in circles... but how to stop?
Hey guys,
I'll try being brief. My problem is that I can't really end a relationship with my boyfriend. I've tried several times to do no contact, but each time he got in contact with me and the whole thing started all over again. It feels like hell now... He told me he does not love me to the point I love him. And then, our relationship has no future. But still he continues to act strange giving me false hope and mixed signals. It was a time when I thought I had moved on, but then he started acting like a person who loves me. I don't know what to do at the moment. It seems he can't decide by himself what he wants. Sometimes I think he is just playing with me. Or maybe he is completely helpless. I thought we could be just friends, like we used to be before any romance appeared between us. But now I have the feeling (and it grows stronger) that I can't be just friends with him because I am too much involved emotionally. From time to time I wish I had the courage to erase his phone number from my cell phone, or to change my phone number. All his calls out of blue are killing me (to the point that I hate my cell phone because I am constantly waiting for him to call me). I really have a deep feeling for him but it seems he doesn't share it. I've talked to him about my feelings so many times, but it doesn't work. I think he wants me to stay in his life like a friend (or sometimes more than a friend when he feels like it). I am sad, desparate and depressed for a year now. I want it to stop somehow, but I am too weak to end it abruptly.Will there be any advice what should I do in this situation? Thank you for reading.