Just can't figure her out...

Alright, a few notes of this experience,

-Got the courage to walk over to this girl at a table (at college) and say hi etc.

-Friend of mine from H.S. a while back comes out of no where and all three of us decide to cruise around to the record store and mall.

-I end up finding out two days later that she is in one of my classes (was shocked) and we talked for about 15 minutes a couple times after class before having to split to next class.

-Shes commented on me having good hair but wearing a hat all the time and the next time I saw her I didnt wear a hat which kinda showed I listened to her and have interest.

-I always seem to have to start up conversations and questions because she is somewhat a quiet mysterious girl....but she invited me to go to a play she had to go to this past weekend.

-Of course, I go to the play with her and her sister and her cousin's firend and a classsmate of hers. We have a great time after the play at a restaurant havin drinks etc.

-She is planning on transferring to out of state college but not sure yet....

-As far as texting (she said she prefers texting over calling), I'm always the first to text....I get a quick reply but she never spontaneously texts me to show interest.

-She has dropped the word" friend" two times...which got me thinking...for example, at the restaurant she says "I thnk you're going to be a really good friendto have around" and over texting saying "Of course I'd like you to come...you're an amazing friend"....

-She gives me these looks and smiles when I look at her.....but .....cant figure it out

-As far as the physical traits.......I'm definitely good looking enough ...not that its all that matters...course not...

What is driving me crazy is that she is either not interested or really playing hard to get. This is the first girl I can't figure out...her sister seems to like me which could get me some bonus points....but dang.....I'm kinda waiting for her to make a slight move now (such as texting me out of nowhere one night) cause I've shown some big signs

So, reason for the post is because I'd like a female perspective on it...

Thanks,

Davis

Gah thats rough... although it seems good, the whole 'friend' comment and never texting you first stick out like a sore thumb to me. I mean sometimes when you start communicating with someone, you establish norms (as in one person regularly communicates first and it is just accepted that is the way it works). The friends thing i don't like either, because its like she is trying to place you in the friend zone intentionally.

These arn't signs that she definitely isnt interested, however I don't think these look so rosy. It could potentially be that she is shy (as you mentioned) and she is using this as a defense mechanism of sorts so that she doesn't reveal all her cards or fall in too fast. I would suggest approach with caution. Maybe mix up your signals a little and see how she responds and vibe off of that. I would also consider just making a move straight up because im the type that would rather try and fail then never know... but thats more of a personal me thing!

Yeah, I would be more straight forward but I see this girl on tuesdays and thurdays this semester and....I don't want anything to get awkward......It'll be interesting when she gets news of whether she is leaving out of state for transfer or not for next year (if she says she is staying in the area I will tell her flat out that I have begun liking her more than just a friend)....who knows...just wish she would end the mixed signals and give me an obvious sign whether her and I would be able to go beyond just friendship...

This is a hard situation to be in. But here's your answer- she likes you... as a person. From what you've said, she doesn't see you as potential romance. Unfortunatly, most girls are subtle with this stuff (ie: the "friend" comments). Women love having guys that they feel they can trust with a platonic relationship and not to overstep their bounds.

So, you have two options: continue being her friend and accept it, or give up and move on. Either way, find someone else that interests you who may respond in kind.

Try being a bit more aggressive and see how that goes. Some girls find that if a guy is too friendly and doesn't take charge, it's a turnoff. If it still doesn't work, move on.

'You're an amazing friend'........

Something I'd say to a guy, so that he didn't get wrong impression it would lead to more.

Yeah, that is a very pointed statement on her part. I've done the same thing to guys in your position i.e.: A guy that I suspect is interested in me, but clearly doesn't have the confidence to pursue me actively. We women do love confidence in a man. If I see a guy dancing around the issue too much, I assume that he must not want me THAT badly.

However, that is not to say I don't actively pursue men myself. If I see something I want, I go for it and give the guy any indication that I'm interested in being around him. If he does not return my advances, it's not a total loss. I've got too much else going on to worry about one or two guys who fail to notice my awesomeness :D

Mixed signals are fun.

The immediate reply to texts consistently is what stood out for me. A lot of girls just get to it when they get to it if they truly have 0 interest. Friends included.

Well ladies and gentlemen....thanks for the info....

There were many other signals she sent out that were half friend and half something more yesterday....but finally, as she invited me to her house (she had to get something so we went on a 45 minute car ride) she mentioned that she would love me being a "big brother" type for her....and asked if she ever did have a boyfriend whether it would bother me...I said no...

This all came out.....I'm not going too deep into the convo we had...

The kicker is...when we got back to campus...somebody calls and its this guy who is coming to meet her...and as he is coming, she tells me she is thinking of calling him her boyfriend....I was shocked!!!....I dont know...just caught me off guard...and uh....she tell me shes terrified bla bla bla....I say "just follow your heart" bla bla bla...and she says "I silenced it a while ago" or something like that as she turns toward the douchebag which was a little weird (said she had bad relationships before)....

I mean, how long was she dating this fool.....

On top of all this she mentioned something about havin to call some other guy to turn him down or something.....

Just figures...I pick a girl juggling 3 guys at a time.....sucks too cause she was what I'm looking for and now when I see a girl I'm looking for those tendencies.....f%$k!!!!..........I don't go up to girls often....oh well....wish me luck ...

Ladies, my opinion, please please please don't try and play head games....they're killers.....its not necessarily a bad or horrible thing to do but I just appreciate it when a girl sees me interested in her and takes her less than 2 weeks (which was this girl) to tell me she is dating another guy who she is thinking about calling her boyfriend....I don't know..just sayin....

Sorry to hear that bud. Next time, try to go for it right from the beginning so you don't waste few weeks or in some cases months, time. Meet a girl, ask her out fairly quickly and go from there.

Sounds like this girl was intentionally keeping you baited because she enjoyed the attention you gave her. I mean, come on. She ASKED you if you would mind if she ever had a boyfriend?! Ugh.