Hey LF, after lurking on here for several hours I decided to make a thread of my own. Everyone here seems very down to earth, which is definitely a change from 99% of the rest of the web. So here's my story- any replies whether it be comments, questions, support, or help is greatly appreciated.
Me and my girlfriend had been together for three years. During our first year we were together we were absolutely in love, we wanted to spend every minute together and were quite frankly obsessed. About six months in, her parents figured out she was staying the night at my house and being the religious nuts that they are- they gave her the boot. She had no where to go, she was only 18, and couldn't support herself.
Here's where I come in, I'm living with my parents, 20 years old, no job, no car. She was the only thing going for me at this point in my life. After a few days of begging with my parents, they decided to let her stay with me.
At this point in the relationship we're now living together. It was a lot like Mama's Family- my mom and dad upstairs and her and I living in the basement with our own things. It was very much like an apartment, so we had our own privacy (for the most part)
Now two years go on after we're living together and things are slowing down. We're now treating each other more like friends than partners. All of the adventures that we went on and fun dates we had early in the relationship just came to a halt. It was like this for a few months until finally she had the 'talk' with me.
She told me she fell out of love with me, that I wasn't treating her like how she wanted to be treated and that it would be the best for both of us if we break up. At this point my mind was blown, I didn't really see it coming, I just thought she would always be there and when this happened I was crushed.
I went through a few cycles: sadness, anger, bitterness, frustration and the list goes on. I couldn't figure out why she broke up with me. I thought I was the greatest guy in the world, fun to be around, a great boyfriend, and I sincerely thought she was the one I was going to be with forever. I told her I still wanted to be friends because in no way did I want her out of my life. We had too many great times, too many memories.
We've been broken up for a month now.
A few weeks after the breakup I started to see things more clearly. I realized how I was treating her, it was like a third person view of my life. I did treat her poorly, and I took her for granted. I thought she would always be with me no matter what and when this happened it really opened my eyes. I didn't pay attention to her, I put my Xbox and my friends in front of her, we stopped going on dates because I just didn't have the drive. She had every right to break up with me, I was the jackass that every guy hates. The jackass who has a beautiful, caring, supporting girlfriend, and treated her like dirt. I hate that guy, I don't want to be that guy- and I hated myself for it.
So all of these thoughts are going through my head, I messed up, the last year of our relationship was just a coast. Doing things through obligation, there was no fire, not even a spark. She tried but I pushed her away. I would tease her and make fun of her for my own sick enjoyment. I got pleasure getting a reaction out of her, it made me feel like she really cared when I made her upset, but jesus christ, what an awful way to go about doing things.
I've never had these feelings before. I had something so great and foolishly let it go.
I told her about my epiphany on the phone the other night and she broke into tears, I continued to tell her how I messed up. After she was done crying she began screaming at me, saying things like, "Why did it take you so long to realize this" and "It took me breaking up with you to realize you were being a dick".
I couldn't say sorry enough times to her that night, I could see everything so clearly. We talk on the phone almost nightly and every night I slip out an "I love you". She doesn't respond. I love her, I'm in love with her- I see what I've done and so much of my attitude has changed since this happened.
So here we are. At this moment I'm staring at my phone waiting for her to respond to my text. I can't stop thinking about her, I've tried to distract myself and move my life forward without her, but she's the girl I want to be with. I could go on and on about how amazing she is but that's for another time.
I'm madly in love with her, and I would love to have her back in my life. She says she needs her space, and I'm worried I'm being bothersome by calling and texting her so often. So much has happened in the past few years that no way can I get the most important parts down on this post, hopefully you get the majority of it. Again, if you have any comments or questions please do reply.