really need some advice,,,help!!

ok. i met my boyfriend about 6 years ago. we both lived in chicago, dated for a little bit and he moved to michigan. so we pretty much were not together. i have always stayed in contact with him, ive always loved him but never thought i would ever move to michigan and doubted he would ever come to chicago so i didnt see how we could have something(long distance didnt work) but yet i couldnt control wanting to call him from time to time. so, i was seeing other people and i thought he was too even though hes claiming he wasnt and that he was waiting for me(but he was a huge player when i first met him). so, to my suprise i called him one night and had him pick me up and i ended up moving to michigan with him. it was kind of a bad time in my life, i was a big partier. and the way i went about things was mean and i admit that. for example, we were out drunk one night and he ended smashing his car and i was soo drunk i couldnt really see how bad the situation was so i didnt go by him but i also had his family trying to get me home and also some of them pushing me away so it was kinda confusing.(he was fine by the way). then, i had pics on my myspace of some friends(no bad ones tho) some i had relations with some i did not. he ended up deleting my myspace so i made him delete his. (i think thats fair) one day i showed him pictures of 3 guys i knew in his old high scholl yearbook, i happened to sleep with one before. but i didnt tell him that i did. so over all he interogates about my past (ppl ive slept with) he never believes me on anything. he dont trust me.and after we broke up i dated his friend for like a month we never slept together and i ended it cuz it wasnt right. another thing thats a big issue is that i went to chicago for about 2 weeks last year and i did act very dumb, i went out alot and turned my phone off but i truly did not cheat on him! and ever since i have been doin nothing of the sort. i pretty much quit drinking because i realized how i acted when i drank vodka and i didnt like it so i stopped so i wouldnt hurt him in any way. but there were still things i never told him about my past and i gradually told him because i was scared of telling him. and now he knows EVERYTHING ABOUT MY PAST but he wont believe me he thinks there are more lies and he believes that he cant have guy friends around because he says ill f*ck them which is not true at all. i tell him all the time i only want him. its the truth. but now not so sure if this is good. at first he was really good to me but after i made mistakes it all changed.(i was in a rough period and trying to better my life so im gonna mess up along the way). but now that all that is done and i got my head straight (1 year later) he talks to me horribly all the time and randomly. for example, today in the car after we got done eating he tells me that he cant be with me anymore, theres nothing in this for him, i drag him down, the girl in mcdonalds was sooo much prettier than me that she had perky t*ts and a nice body and a beautiful face, and that i was just ugly and flabby. he tells me im nothing but a moron, idiot, whore, slut, bitch....etc....(im 140 lbs and i have a really pretty face) but he still hurts my feelings bad and he says he has to break me down for me to realize the truth. not too long ago, we had an arguement and he smacked me right in my face and said he needs to put me in my place. (i dont believe thats my place at all) he screams at me to the point where my ears hurt. he pushed me a few times against walls, down the front porch steps. oh and one time last year i had hit him while i was drinking because he was saying some really hurtful things but i promised to never ever do that again or call him names either. and i havent i stuck to my promise. but its like the kmore i try to be better he treats me worse. oh yeah and last time he broke up with me, he ripped up some of my clothes(bras and everything) so i had nothing, he said it gave him closure and he could cuz he bought them(which not all them he bought) so i can go on and on but thats enough for now. please tell me what you guys think pleeeaaasee, i need advice!!! am i wrong, do i deserve this, does he? i dont know please help.