She just stops talking to me..

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03-05-10, 09:24 AM
zx6r

She just stops talking to me..

I have a friend that I have known for about 4 years, I'm 28 and she 27. She is currently married but has been separated for a couple of months. She was married for 7 years and knew him since she was 14. Well she and I started talking again in Feb. and became very close. We would text each other hundreds a day and would spend all our off days together. I was trying to be somewhat respectful because she is still married so I didn't try to cross THAT line, but we did make out once and it got pretty intense, no sex though. She told me the next day that I was a good kisser and that is was nice, etc. This was about a month ago to 3 weeks ago. Everything was going good for us until about 1 week ago. She went to visit a gay friend (I throw in gay so I know they didn't DO anything..I know the guy very well) in Miami, she works for the airlines so fly's cheap, and so I relaxed on the texting so she could enjoy her vacation. She had gone a few weeks ago to visit a cousin in Miami and I did the same thing in terms of letting up on the texts. Well this time she calls me on Saturday, a drunk call, and we just chatted until she feel asleep (she has drunk called me before and everything was fine the next day). So on Sunday we just text a couple of times and after then I have not heard from her at all. I tried texting her twice on Monday and then again on Tuesday and she never responded. I then waited till Friday and said "hey" and still nothing. I am just completely confused because we went from talking and seeing each other all the time and her telling me she liked me and missed me and then abruptly she goes silent. She knew the whole time we were seeing each other and going on actual dates that I liked her. So why would she go almost 4 months talking to me all the time and showing that she did like to go completely silent without a single explanation?
03-05-10, 09:53 AM
sehvral

Getting back with the husband? Perhaps he found out?
03-05-10, 10:01 AM
IndiReloaded

Quote:

Originally Posted by sehvral [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Getting back with the husband? Perhaps he found out?

That's my guess, too.
03-05-10, 10:12 AM
zx6r

I thought about that but don't think so for a couple of reasons.
A. We had a long talk a couple weeks ago and she said she doesn't think about him or miss him and knows if they got back together things would just get back where they were before (he started drinking heavily and then abused coke for a year and she didn't know).
B. She stopped talking to me while she was still in Miami and he still here.
C. She is brutally honest and will tell people what's on her mind even if that gets them mad, etc (or so she has usually been).
D. With have a mutual best friend and I think she would have told her and in turn told me that. Now with this mutual friend, I have kind of talked to her about this but I don't want to stick her in the middle and abuse our friendship and pump her for information.

Even if they did get back together, why wouldn't she at least say hey, I had a good time but we are going to try to work things out. She has known me for a long time and knows I would understand and let it go..we even talked about that. So it doesn't explain why she abruptly stopped....
03-05-10, 10:59 AM
cmacattack1

Regardless of the reason, if she wanted to talk to you, she probably would have said something by now. The guilt of cheating on her husband with you has to be pretty tough. I wouldn't want that burden.

If she's so brutally honest, why didn't she tell you something before she decided to shun you?
03-05-10, 11:13 AM
zx6r

Is it considered cheating if you are separated and living at different places? She hasn't even worn her ring in a while.
03-05-10, 11:24 AM
sehvral

Quote:

Originally Posted by zx6r [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

but we did make out once and it got pretty intense, no sex though.

Until the papers are signed, that is cheating, separated or not.
03-05-10, 12:21 PM
zx6r

I guess...but if that was the reason it was a month before. The only thing I can do I guess is give her some time, maybe a month, and then ask her what's up. I think I deserve some kind of explanation being that we have known each other for so long and she was telling me stuff as well these last few months.
03-05-10, 01:19 PM
Paul Cho

I think you should have sealed the deal and slept with her. But chances are, she is gone. If a woman has been with someone for over 5 years, your just not going to steal her away from someone. If she slutting around, get your beak wet while you can, and move on, she won't fall for you.

Paul Cho
04-07-10, 09:15 AM
damn2010

I had the exact same situation as you. Except my relationship with a separated woman was more like two great dates. This lady I think was a little messed up b/c she was married to this guy for about 3-4 months and had dated him previously for 2-3 months as well and they "separated" around the beginning of the year. He lives in another state and she moved back to this area.

Long story short, she ended up not talking with me and I left her two voicemails and then stopped. She eventually started talking to me again but whenever I talked about getting together, she was either give me a "we'll play it by ear" or stopped replying to my Texts. I got sick of this game as I thought a person our age (late 20's) would be more mature than this.

I finally was able to pin her down to chat on the phone...now, she could be 100% lying and met someone else...I don't know, but basically she said she didn't expect the flow of emotions coming because she "likes" me. She claimed she wasn't ready for a relationship and that she is also dealing with a lot of stuff with her ex- (they had a house together). She said how I treated her (sheesh...after two dates?) was "almost too good to be true". I told her that it was best we be friends.

Funny twist, I ended up moving to the same apartment complex as her this past weekend (I didn't know she was there)...I saw her the first weekend and even asked her to lunch one day, but otherwise I have really not spoke to her since. I don't like dealing with flakes and people who can't man up and tell you how it is...man or woman.

Bottomline, separated people have baggage, and women more than anything are so confused, hurt and scared coming out of a marriage that they seem to have a pattern of just being unreliable and so unsure.