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Is love enough
In late February I decided I needed time away from my ex-boyfriend. I have a senior in HS who is going away to college this fall.
I was overwhelmed by my emotions and life in general being in a relationship was the last thing I needed.
He is a very sweet loving and gentle man, when he doesn't smoke pot. When he smokes he is an angry individual prone to tempter tantrums. This is the one quality in him I hate, its the one thing that has driven me away. I broke up with him for
good about 3 weeks ago.
Tonight I really miss him, my kids are both at sleep-overs, the sense of loneliness is more pronounced when they are gone. This is when I miss him the most, when all I can think of is, "But I love him." Reminds me of a chapter in Dr. Lauras book.
It also makes me ask the question, is love enough, is it ever enough?
He can be so giving and loving and caring, YET when he smokes pot he is a monster. Not violent just angry, he has never
mistreated me, instead he has asked me to leave because he is angry beyong belief. When he's this way anything sets him off, a wrong answer, a wrong look, etc. etc. I can never see myself living with a man such as this. I imagine my life being a living hell. As I write this I feel better about my decision.
Yet the thought is always there, but I love him. So I ask is love ever enough?
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I believe it depends on what that love does for a person, love is enough if someone understands how important and how much it offers, but it isn't enough if they believe it's just a word or luxury.
You shouldn't be with this man, the mixture of drugs and emotional problems is a painful spiral downward, and something you should never put yourself through, or your children.
If you truly believe he is an important man, then you can always bring it up to him one last time, and his answer could very well help you with your own choices.
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It appears like he has some deep-rooted emotional issues which he hasn't addressed yet. Smoking drugs - is that a frequent occurrence? Is it social or do you feel like it is an escape? If is the latter, have you discussed or expressed your concerns with him? Maybe even urge him to seek help. Cannabis for the most part relaxes the user - there is a sense of calmness, fit of giggles, hunger pangs, sleepiness - so it is worrying that it brings out anger in him.
And to answer your question, no, love is almost always never enough. It is essential but there are many other factors which help to sustain a healthy relationship, factors which vary from person to person, for example trust, honesty, loyalty, commitment, mutual respect and good communication. If you feel your relationship is lacking any of these criteria then I believe you are being shortchanged.