Desperately need advise...dating a newly separated man.
I should start from the beginning and be honest. I started dated this guy about two years ago. It all started at work. We use to just flirt in the office and go out for drinks afterwards. I knew he was married and told myself this is just for fun. I was also in the middle of planning my own wedding to my long time boyfriend ( I know this is bad). He was the safe type, this new guy is fun and adventurous. So needless to say I did have an affair with the man I work with. I should also mention he is twice my age. I'll speed up the story just a bit...I got married (still having the affair), got divorced and he left his wife.
Now a year after our relationship started, were living together. You would think ''So what's the problem''. The problem is that I still feel like the other women, his dirty little secret and I feel hidden. I have introduced him to my family and he cant even tell people that he has a girlfriend. He has been separated for a year now, but his marriage as he tells it has been over for the past ten years. I want to build something with him and be a part of his life but he keeps telling me to give it more time. I just want him to show me that things will change. Maybe he thought that leaving his wife would be enough, but its not. I don't feel like its asking to much to be apart of his life and to be included. I ask him things that any other women in my situation would, Like when are you getting the divorce. His answer is when she brings it up. I wont even tell you how painful it has been the past year. We have good weeks and bad ones! He is a great guy and it shows that he loves me, but its not easy dating someone that has just separated. I knew it would be hard, so I am sticking by him and am very patient. Sometimes he has things to do with his family, like birthdays, dinners and the big one Christmas and so on. I can't be invited to any of that. Why, If you say you love me??? He has a son and a daughter, both around my age. His son is about to have a child of his own. His family keeps growing and I would like to be a part of that. I know he does not want any more kids of his own so I have accepted that, but then don't shut me out of this experience. I could go on and on but my tears are flowing all over my key board...
My patients is wearing thin and my hart is slowly breaking. My question is should I stay with the man I still truly love and have sacrifice as well for and continue to be hidden in the shadows or should I tell him to change the situation or I will leave. Please help me!
