Need help dealing with what my ex wants
Oh rigts, straight to the point aye~
I've been single for not a long time now, i've had 2 relationships before the one that just ended a few days ago. I'm through the previous relationships already, but this one plainly confuses me. I never actually believed a long distance relationship could work out, but what the hell, i fell in love with this girl online.
Okey this might sound a bit off or funny whatsoever, but we both liked playing the same cartoon-stylish online game and we didn't know eachother at all to beging with. Then a group of friends just formed, roughly put a group of 5 people in which she was the only girl in. All the guys basically followed their instincts and tried to hit on her all the times (we used to speak on Teamspeak via headphones and so on) but i wasn't really that much into it because i truly disbelieved in game or online relationships.
But whatever happened, i started really liking her and after a while i told her i had feelings for her and she told me the exactly same thing. We started talking on msn / skype, all the possible places to contact eachother at. We basically 100 % synced, loved all the eachothers attributes, we shared pictures of eachother and stuff like that.
For this while a little background info about her, she'd been in 2 relationships before this one, just like me, and the way we both broke off from them was ironically similar. She's on her last year at school, and is at the moment attending her final exams (which end at 27th of this month).
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We pretty much had no problems in our relationship until now. We hardly argued, but when we did we just couldn't stand at being mad at eachother for long periods, so the hardly occuring arguments were really never anything serious. Few weeks back, we had a quite big argument which first ended up in a break up which lasted for about an 15 minutes (LOL) and we ended up together again. But then, the arguing just continued and i didn't realise that she was too stressed to argue with me anymore because she had her examweek going on.
So to put things together, she asked me for a break until 27th when her final exams are. I agree'd to it, but at 17th day (3 days back) she told me she wanted to talk to me, and we broke up. She assured to me that she had no one else for her own, (which really makes sense because she pretty much had 3 relationships in a row, like me), and told me that the time with me was wonderful and i taught her alot.
Okey here comes the confusing part, first she assured me that this was her final decision, and she didn't want to say anything more to me to give me a wrong idea or a light of hope about getting back together. After that she asked us to be friends, and support eachother like we used to do before, which i first agreed to, but then when i thought about it, i told her i didn't want that because it would only hurt me to be around you. She got pretty much mad about it and didnt want to be someone i'd just forget about. So i had no choice but to agree to her suggestion of being friends.
Then she told me not to think our break up as i was to loose her, she wanted me to think it like we had a permanent break and i could be in contacts with her. She told me that we're both still at young age, and she doesn't want to commit for a serious relationship yet, she doesn't want these strings attached to her and wants to be free again.
But she once again reassured to me that she isn't going for a new relationship, she's only going to have some fun. She said that i could get a new girlfriend if i liked someone better. So, before i ended the conversation, she said this;
''for some reason i just wish we could go our seperate ways and do whatever the hell we want and then still end up together in the end''
After that she told me that we would keep contact and see if we would still end up together only if both of us really wanted it, which really fights oppositely to what she said to me before...
Well i pretty much thought it would be okay if we both felt the same... whenever that time was, but for now we'd just be friends and do whatever we wanted. After agreeing with her, i told that i would cut all the connections from her until she's done with her exams so i wouldn't bother or stress her anyhow.
~ So basically i need some help understanding what she meant by telling me that she'd wish us to end up together in the end... She's ok if i get in a new relationship, she wants to be just friends, she want's to be free and do whatever she wants, but still wishes us to get together.
* Is she trying to tie me down as a back-up-guy if she'd f*ck up somewhere?
* Or does she still care or have feelings for me, and is unsure of what she wants (maybe because of her stress with exams?)
* Or does she respect me and want me to be around if we'd have feelings for eachother in the end?
Help me with this ) :
Ps. hope the post wasn't too confusing to read x_x
