Am I more/becoming more then just a friend? Help and advice please !!

Hello guys,

I have a friend from work, hes in hes 40s, married w. 3 kids and a caring wife.
I love and care for him a lot ,and there isn't much I wouldnt do for him, as a kid would love a parent or sibling, but nothing sexual.
I find the idea of anything sexual between us appalling.
He has always been there for me with advice and support and mentored me at my workplace.

Since then I have found a new job. He gave me a perfume as a goodbye present Gaultiers "Classique" saying that the bottle reminded him of me - he had had a few pints at my leaving party then. He added a wee kiss to our goodbye hug, from what I tried to pull away, and told me to make sure to keep in touch. Hes not a touchy person, nor does he kiss for a greeting, goodbye.
Whenever I visit him at work to let him know of my progress at my new job, he takes every chance to tease me or tickle me, as a 14 year old boy would. Last time when I asked him what he was thinking he said with a twinkle in hes eye that Id slap him if hed told me. To what i said no Id probably just be disappointed.

He knows I grew up without parents and that hes like a father figure to me ,and I look up to him.

Im not sure anymore how he sees me and thats making me worried and unhappy. Im afraid of reading too much into this and when confronting him ruining our friendship. For now Ive just tried to keep away but i don't want to loose contact nor a friend. What should I do? I do think he is aware of how much he means to me and how much it would hurt me if hed destroied that dynamic we have. :upset:

^^This is why I never do friends with men. I'd only do friends with men I was interested in.

I would keep men from the workplace as 'aquaintances' ...not friends.

You can't send out 'mixed messages' and you don't recieve 'mixed messages' that way.

Ok, here is the thing. Sometimes peoples "persona's" are different then who they REALLY are. He may have seamed like a great guy with a family BUT this is not a perfect world... And unfortunately, too many people are unfaithful these days. I know you may have seen him as JUST a friend, but ANY man who does any of that kind of stuff when he is married is being unfaithful and when he said "that you would slap him if he told you" that just gave it away. I know he seams like a father figure to you but you are NOT a daughter figure to him... He is just another perverted man, and as much as it sucks to loose what you thought was a friend, I would highly recommend you step away from that situation... He bought you perfume, he flirted with you verbally and physically (tickling), and then he tested the waters with that little comment of his. There is only ONE thing on his mind, dont put yourself in that position...

^^I agree.

Jadore, usually when men want to be your friend, (discluding those that you have known perhaps for years), there is a motive behind it. Men don't tend to friend, women they are not attracted too, but befriend women they are attracted too., in the hopes it will lead to more.

That aint saying 'all' men and because some guys on here claim to be friends with women they don't see in that way - as hard as I find that to believe.

But if you are a young attractive girl, you can bet the majority want to be friends because they would be seeking more.

Men don't buy women expensive perfume for nothing. He bought it because he likes you and to impress you and he's trying to 'woo' you.

One thing is for sure, his wife won't know he's bought it.

Thanks guys for the answers.

I will tell him what bothers me and that we should stop meeting the next time he calls.
For now ill just try and keep away.
Funny thing is that most of my friends are guys and I never-ever had that sort of problems. Then again we go futher back.
I keep thinking that maybe I did smth wrong and gave the wrong impression.

Oh well, thanks again,

J

Quote:

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I keep thinking that maybe I did smth wrong and gave the wrong impression....

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Don't blame yourself and because you likely did nothing wrong at all. He's just a dirty old married chancer, who fancies his chances with you.

I've been in this type of situation before and it was nothing I did wrong other than being 'friendly'. This is why I just stopped being friends with men - I found they read too much into my friendliness. So to avoid any confusion, I would now only friend guys I did see in 'that' way.

EDIT: Just saw the part where you claim to meet him.
Perhaps you are giving him the wrong impression and when you will go off to meet him to spend time with him? He could be thinking that there is something behind your meeting him and continuing to meet him. This guy thinks you like him as more I'm guessing.