I'm trapped in this paradigm.

So here's my life:

I work at Target, but I'm not making enough money there, and I want to find a better 2nd job, and hopefully leave where I live at now, because I'm kinda sick of Saint Paul, MN. I'm going to school for my Computer Networking AAS degree, however it is hard to find a job in that field. Time to change major to Electronics Technology, and do more schooling. This is going to take forever.

I only do what I like, so I'm not going to be a Lawyer or Doctor.

I live on my own. I don't cook much. I eat cheap because It's hard to support myself.

I quit drinking alcohol. That made me do more stupid things.

I only smoke pot every now and then, but now that I haven't been doing it so much I feel so antisocial again like I need the drug.
I'm debating on going back on it since its not a real bad drug except for the people that rather look down on me, than understand my psychological problems and how it can help.

I have immature friends that kinda make fun of me for the way I look, not having a GF, and the way I live (which isn't bad). But to move on, I need to find new friends.

What can I do, I don't really want to live this way. I need to move on with my life. I know it seems I'm rushing it, but I'm 22. I can welcome some uncertainty in my life to experience new things. But it's hard, because I never felt comfortable telling my family how I feel, because I don't think they would understand. Money is holding me back from doing anything I enjoy. Debt free, but working at kinda ok wages right now. I feel like I'm a slave to the system, but the only way to avoid it is to stay home play video games, watch movies. too much stuff I'm exposed to is part of the diagnosis of this problem. I'm trapped.

Hmmm....I guess I don't see anything too horrible with your life. You have a job and aren't in debt, not a lot of people can say that. I do understand the rut part I guess. I was there. I actually moved to Duluth, MN but now I too am in St Paul. Small world. Its smart that you are considering further education, nothing wrong with thinking of the future. I would maybe talk to a career counselor at your school and see if they have any career path advice for you.

Do you have health insurance? Maybe consider seeing a doctor about the need self medications. I too have been there. Its easy to become depressed when you feel like you are neither going forward nor moving backwards.

Sometimes you just have to bust out of your comfort zone. Do you have friends or family in a different location that you could maybe temporarily live with, just for a change of pace? It might be good for you to get away and experience some new territory for awhile. Meet new people, explore who you would like to become.

As for medications, I would avoid them just because after doing research on antidepressants that kill you. I don't know if medicinal marijuana is around minnesota, and I don't know if I can use it for that reason. (because if that was the case, it would just be legal, right?)

I left my comfort zone before. I can do it again. I just need to plan for something new. Applying for new jobs is only an attempt, but once succeeded, my life has changed.

Maybe I could live somewhere else, while I work somewhere else too. Takes time for that change to happen though.

I'm not saying my life is really bad, I'm just wanting it better.

I think at this point medicinal marijuana is only prescribed to the terminally ill/chemo patients, here in Minnesota.

Have you thought about getting an evening/weekend job somewhere enjoyable? Like bartending to meet a lot of people/hear bands for free or if you like gaming, maybe Game Stop or something? It would be a way to meet people and earn extra cash, not to mention network.

In my mid-20s, I abruptly realized that I was no longer happy with my life in Indiana. I had an entry-level job in my career, but I realized that the only way I was going to move up the ladder at that small firm would be when this one older guy died. I didn't have a girlfriend, and my cock-blocking buddies always seemed to be around to mess things up when I tried to meet women. I was roommates with an old friend, but most of our mutual friends were still living at home and considered our apartment to be their clubhouse. And I was trying to pass the CPA exam, but it's really hard, so studying for it requires serious commitment. When I accidentally received the wrong paycheck at work one Friday, I found out that the high school graduate bookkeeper was making more money than me, even though we were the same age but I had a degree in accounting. I caused a big scene at work and quit, only to find that the job market had dried up since I had graduated. After months of no luck, I was running out of cash.

So I moved to Minnesota, where friendly relatives were ready to help me start over. I lived rent-free with a cousin for the first year, then rented a basement apartment from an uncle for the next two years. During that time, I passed the CPA exam and got my career going again. It was such a great feeling when I finally could afford to get my own place and furniture, and decorate it the way I wanted. My relatives didn't know me like my old friends did, so I was free to re-invent myself as a stronger, more confident guy. I joined a gym, got contact lenses, started dressing better, and partied like it was 1999 (local music reference there). I made new friends, dated like a madman, and eventually got into some trouble. But at least I lived life to the fullest.

I currently live in Saint Paul, and overall my life is going well. But the point isn't that Saint Paul is great (it's okay), the point is that you can turn your life around if you're ready to really go for it. I don't know if it's necessary to move somewhere else to start over, but that may make it easier in some ways. You could stay, but just gradually replace your old friends with new friends, pursue your education, and create the life that you want to live. It won't be easy, and honestly, I think that smoking pot would undermine you, because it seems to make people lazy and complacent. You're debt-free, which is great, so if stay careful with your money and set some aside for the future, you will have options. Overall, I think that you're asking the right questions, so you're going to find the right answers for your life in time.

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Originally Posted by QueenofCorona [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Have you thought about getting an evening/weekend job somewhere enjoyable? Like bartending to meet a lot of people/hear bands for free or if you like gaming, maybe Game Stop or something? It would be a way to meet people and earn extra cash, not to mention network.

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You know, you just gave me an idea for a 2nd job. I can work at gamestop part time, and maybe meet new friends, and stuff. I do need the extra money, as I'm single supporting myself, and working to rely less on my friends, by going to learn DIY on stuff like my car and other things where I don't really need them. Some people are over dependent on others, where I guess sometimes I don't ask for enough help :p

Pot is not the answer. It took me awhile to understand, but it's true what they say, drugs are for mugs. Too often you find people who use drugs more than just recreationally... and by the time you know it, you're consumed. It's the same for every person who feels they should turn to drugs because they're bored or whatever.

I really need to try harder to find social groups/clubs I can fit into. The only problem is that they are hard to find. I'm a gamer, and I want to find a gamers club, but there isn't one. Gamestop is where I'm going to try first.

Good for you. Hook me up on some DS games for my bf's kids? Jk