I met this guy.. but I don't know if I'm ready.
I just got out of a horrible relationship, four and a half years of basically letting this guy use me and tell me what to do, and treat me like crap. I have no idea why I stayed for so long. Finally I came to my senses after he borrowed my moms car and totaled it then expected me to pay for it. I learned a lot from it though. I was in denial, obviously, for a long time. I put my emotions before logic and I didn't really think about the things that this guy was doing, or how much he was hurting me. Honestly, I wasn't really helping him much either, I practically encouraged him to treat me badly for a long time. It makes no sense to me now but it happened and I have to admit that.
But now I know I don't deserve to be treated that way, and I don't have to. I definitely don't want to.
So anyway.. I guess about a month after we broke up, but while he and I were still in the middle of sorting our lives out, cuz we lived together and all... well, I met this other guy. I wasn't trying to meet anyone, he kind of just messaged me on myspace and asked me to play chess with him, so I was like, why not?
Anyway, we've been sort of dating for about.. 3 weeks, ish. we talk on facebook pretty much every day and I've seen him five or six times. He's very nice, and polite, and smart, and.. I don't know, honestly, he kind of seems perfect. He hasn't asked me for anything except my company. And even then he doesn't ask for that a lot because he's in grad school and he's really busy most of the time.
I really enjoy spending time with him, he makes me laugh, and we have fun together. He treats me with respect. I just kind of feel like it's doomed, because I don't know if I'm over what happened with the last guy that I cared about. I'm a little bit afraid to trust anyone at this point. Another thing that kind of bothers me about it, I have to be honest here, is that we've had sex. I know that's crazy because I just met him, but.. it was good sex at least. And I wanted to.. I still want to. Fine I'll say it, I enjoy having sex with this person that I sort of just met.
I just don't know if it's ridiculous for me to even try to start anything right now.
He's cool about it, he hasn't tried to have any kind of talk with me or anything.. I mean he tells me that he really likes me, but he hasn't said anything about wanting to be my boyfriend or any kind of commitment. I think he understands that I'm not ready for a relationship... but yet we still spend time together. And it's awesome.
I don't know... someone tell me that this is ridiculous, or that it isn't, or something. I guess it doesn't really matter, what's the worst that could happen?