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I want her back but how?
No matter how hard and try to deal with it, I'm still thinking about her. I know its only been a week (technically a day) since we broke up but I can't imagine going back to my old routine before I met her. The things that we've been through. Walking on the mall, driving to Marine World, boardwalk, talking on the phone daily, grocery shopping, hand bag shopping, cuddling, going up the hills and kiss, eating in restaurants, watching movies, watching late night shows, massages, baby talks, brushing her hair, to her picking on my pimples, taking a shower together, cooking meals, walking on the park, feeding the ducks, riding the roller coasters, work out together, go dancing in clubs, burning her a new CD, listen to each other's jokes, sweet text messages, emails, go to best buy or fry's to check out stuff, holding hands and kissing in public, let her drive my car, her pushing me to do my homeworks, do biore' on my face, soaping my back, go to starbucks, go rent movies, her stroking and holding my arms (biceps) cause she loves my arms, late night calls, finding a bra for her, going to Oakland, give me medicine when I need some.
I'm trying to be strong and even went to gym last night and called my friend to come over. He took me to restaurant, entertained me and told me not to think about it. No matter how hard I try, I can't bear the changes that is momuntarily happening. There's no second person to push me anymore and be there when I need someone to talk to. I know that life goes on but how can I continue to live thinking that the other person who was once there isn't there anymore? I tried not to cry for I already spent couple of days doing that. Being in bed and not motivated in doing anything. My eyes dried out but my tears comes out while I'm writing this.
The person that I thought to be the 'right' person now disappeared. No matter how hard I try, I can't imagine her being with someone else other than me. Its not something I'm used to even though its only a six-month relationship. We never had a single argument that we never solved in a single day. We've been through a lot and we both even agreed that it seems like its been years already.
Last night, I gave her the freedom and break the relationship. I wish that all these things going on is just a dream but this is reality; and I have to face the facts. Breaking up is not easy but if its necessary to give her a sense of relief and happiness, I will accept it. Even though truly in my heart, I'm not ready to be apart.
I gave her a freedom but deep within me, there's something that tells me to get her back. I don't want to keep calling her as this will just drive her away even more. But what can I do when she tells me that maybe I want somebody younger close to my age? I told her that I don't want anybody else and I want only you. I want her back but how? It will take months before I can move on but how do you know that its over? for good?
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Its never easy in a break up, you just have to stay busy try not to think about it. i know thats alot easier said then done, but what else can you do? It sounds like you miss having someone to do all that stuff with. Once you get comfturable with your first girlfriend it seems perfect, but honestly once you spend a substantial amount of time with any girl well almost any girl and realy get to know eachother its always fun. I'm just getting out of a relationship too but you gotta keep your head up, everyone gets their heart broken you just gotta bounce back and keep a look out for another girl you'd be interested in. Hang out with your firneds concentrate on school (or work) the more you wallow in your own self pity the harder it will become. Your friends sound like they're there for you, meet them half way.
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Hmm, well I have two things to say:
1) In general, trying actively to get her back will do no good, you don't want her to feel pressured by you.
2) However, don't let her get away with the excuse of "I think you need to date someone else for your own good" cuz it has been tried on me and its complete bullshit. Just make sure she knows that you want no one but her, and try to get rid of any insecurities she has about you wanting a younger girl. This could just be a test to see if you really want to stay with her or not, or it could just be that she thinks you will eventually regret not being with a younger girl and is trying to end it before that happens.
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i don't know if the ages diference is that big that made her tells you that. did you break a week or a day ago ? If it's a day wait for a few couple days and then try to know how is she. Don't let her go if you really love her and if she still loves you. I've walked throw a very similar situation to yours a couple years ago but in my situation my self advise was very different of what i'm posting here. Usually in love issue i'm very pragmatic. Good Luck ;)