I borke up with my girlfriend of 3 years and feel horrible.

I am trying to decide if I am making the correct decision. We met as I was going through a horrible divorce. My ex cheated on me and is still with her boy friend. She had been divorced for awhile but did not date. This is the first serious relatiionship for both of us post divorce. We live in different cities and the distance while not great has always been a sort of friction. We both have kids. She refused to move eventhough she has full custody, and I couldn't becasue of my custody arrangement. I understand her position so we discussed waiting toget married, however, it will be 7 years before we could live together. I at times I felt like she was very selfcentered and very unfilling to comproise. We went from the first years which was great to the second years where we sort of drifted from each other, to this year where we both admitted that the passion was gone. We have tried to rekindle it, but it never felt the same. The sort of it was a month ago she told me that she just couldn't do it anymore and agreed we should take a break. I was of the same mind. 2 weeks later she told me that she made a big mistake and wants us to try again. I love her, her kids and her family. I don't want to cause her pain. Right now we are both in increadilbe pain. Is this normal. Should I try again. Or am I doing the right thing by saving us both greater pain in the future.

She claims that she will change and work harder. However, I don't think she did anything really wrong. I don't want her to be what i want. In the long run she will resent me for it and we will be right back where we are. Do people really change. If we both were at a point of thinking it was over. Doesn't that tell us something. I have spoken with my friends who have listend to me complain about certain aspects or our relationship over the years and have been told that I am making the right desicion by cutting it off now. Why does this hurt so much. I can't stand that I am hurting her. Also, there is not other party in the picuture we are both going through this alone.

Any advice or perspective would be appreicated.