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Can it get any worse..
Okay, so my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 4 years. I'm 21 and he's 24. We've gotten pregnant twice together, but both ended in miscarriages. The first one being a year after we started dating, and the second we just found out the 1st of this month, and had to get surgery to get everything out on monday. So it's pretty recent. At the beginning of this year we moved to a town 3 hours away for college. The only person we know is my boyfriends best friend who is our roommate. I hate it there, and the roommate just causes problems. I hate him and my boyfriend sticks up for him cause they are best friends. Any ways. So since we found out we were pregnant our plan was to break our lease and move home with my parents for a few months to save up money to get our own place. Even though the pregnancy didnt last, that was still the plan...well until yesterday. My boyfriend and I still have a lot of things we want to work out before taking that next step to engagement. I wanna work on myself, and figure out what I want to do with my life, and we need to work on things together as a couple. So we're not ready to take that next step. We've lived together for the past 3 years. 1 year with another couple and a year and a half with my parents, and the last 6 months with his best friend 3 hrs away. Now my parents have said since the day we found out we were pregnant that we can live with them for a few months to help us save. Since we're spending like $1600 to break our lease. I've already moved back home with my parents to start working at my old job, and save up money. And they tell me yesterday that in order for him to move in with us he needs to propose. My parents want to see a commitment. Which his commitment to me is that he's leaving his schooling, and job to move home and be with me.
He's really not happy about that. He hates when people try and put him on a time limit and tell him what to do. He cant move with him mom and step dad because he doesnt get along with his step dad. I've tried talking to my parents about it, that its his decision when he wants to propose and when we are ready. I think they are trying to over step their boundaries. I understand their reasoning and that it'll be their rules. But now it looks like he may be staying where he is now, 3 hrs away, and not moving home. So we'll try a long distance relationship. Which we both have never wanted to do that! But we want to be together. If i move back over there then there goes my happiness, and trying to work on myself. I just dont know what to do anymore. We're both really stressed from loosing the baby and now this, that we've separated ourselves from each other for a few days. We cant even be nice to each other or talk to each other like we love each other cause we're soo stressed. this is all too much to handle at once. So we're taking some time to breathe and think about everything. I just dont know what to do!!! help!!! i need advice, opinions, what would you do? thank you!!
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Stop getting pregnant with this guy until he can make a commitment to you.
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I don't blame your parents you guys are irresponsible getting knocked up not once but twice? Hello condoms! Say Hi to birth control too!
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So your parents actually WANT a guy to quit school, quit his job, move into their house on the condition that he asks you to marry him?
Are you ****ing kidding me?
If you were my daughter, we'd be at Planned Parenthood right now, making damned sure you didn't get knocked up AGAIN.
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first off, i would have a sit down with your parents and tell them what's going on. explain to them exactly what the deal is and why you guys are not making that kinda commitment at the moment. them forcing him to do that is rather silly. i understand they are looking out for your best interest, but it's a little overboard. just tell them how stressed out you guys are and how their ultimatum is making it even harder on you. that you want to get engaged to him because you are both ready, which you claim neither of you are. so it's not their choice to force that upon you.
but i don't think that spending some time apart is a bad thing. in order for you to work on yourself, like you say you want to, it's probably best that you spend some time apart. being with your boyfriend all the time will definitely prevent you from making any real progress in that department, so being apart for a little while is a good thing. it might be good for both of you to take a breather. and honestly 3 hours is NOT that far away. you guys can make weekend trips out to each other all the time and spend the time during the week working and concentrating on yourself. this might be a really good opportunity in disguise...