Advantages/ disadvantages of Meeting Potential Dates Online
Ok, so I've heard alot about meeting people online, and possibly escalating it into dating. There are books out there on the subject. And even that statistic that says one in five relationships now begin online. I have tried to do it on both social sites such as Myspace, Facebook, and Tagged,and on specialized dating sites, such as Eharmony, Match.com, and Chemistry.com. I figured that I would list some of the advantages and disadvantages, and my own thoughts, on online dating, as compared to meeting people in the real world. Please note that I'm speaking from the viewpoint of a guy trying to get girls.. But, Feel free to add anything...
Advantages:
1) Not as much pressure/ distractions: When a guy approaches a girl in the real world, it can be very intimidating and feel a little awkward.. And there's the distraction factor (i.e other people, friends, cellphone txts/ calls, shopping, having to be somewhere later).. When you talk to someone online, grabbing their attention is fairly easy. And, if the person feels uncomfortable at any time, they can simply block the other person, or not answer the message.
2) You can find people outside your usual social circle: You can find people you might not normally communicate with. On many dating sites, as well as Myspace and Tagged, you can search for people of either gender, who are single and also looking for what you want, within a certain distance from a zip code (i.e your hometown). This may open up a whole new bunch of dating prospects for you.. I have seen this first hand. I went to a large high school, in which many of the girls in my class were snobby, shallow, and dumb. I met a girl who goes to a nearby school, and we dated happily for awhile.. She was better than any girl in my school.
3) You have more time to think of what to say, and how to say it: When communicating in real life, you are often expected to come up with a response and/ or new topic after the other person is finished talking. And the uhh/hmmm/ or whatever thinking sound you make won't cut it for long. Online, this is not the case. When communicating through profile comments, private messages, and/ or instant messages, you have more time to think of what you are saying.. And if you can't you can just say brb, or after awhile say "sorry, I was doing (insert false arbitrary excuse here)" when in reality you were thinking of what to say next. In my opinion, it's a bit like the twix commercials , in which a person get's caught doing something awkward, and then the commercial pauses and is like "need a moment?? chew it over with twix." as the person tries to come up with a justifiable explanation for their actions.
4) On specialized dating sites (eharmony, match.com, chemistry.com), I've heard it is a little easier to move into a relationship once you've found someone. You know that everyone there is looking for the same thing, so once you've found someone, and are talking to them, it's just a matter of creating chemistry.. Although I did one of the free weekend trial things, and I found that while there are some people on there between 18-21 years old, the site is kind of aimed towards people a little older who haven't found anything yet.
5) Not really an advantage, but something I've found: You can use facebook, myspace, etc. to move things along with someone you've met in real life. This is especially helpful in college, when you have a busy schedule, and you may meet someone you're interested in, but not have enough time to really get to know them. If you get their name, you can find them on facebook/ myspace (if they have one), and use it to keep tabs on them, and maybe get to know a bit more.
Now, unfortunately with all good things, there are bad things.. So here goes..
Disadvantages:
1) In real life, you are able to use body language, posture, voice tonality, and more, to help express yourself. Online, you have no such luxuries (well besides the little smiley faces).. As a result, you have to be careful of what you say..
2) Negative attitude towards it: OK this is probably the biggest problem. Despite the fact that a very small number of facebook/ myspace users would ever use it for child preying/ murdering/ raping, these sites are still associated by many people with these negative things. A decent number feel that because you're searching for members of the opposite sex online, you must not be able to get anything in real life, and therefore, you must be creepy. For this reason, if you need to talk your parents into taking you to see them, you may have a difficult task on your hands.
3) Online, it's much easier to flake. All one has to do is not respond to the message, or block the other person from contacting them. In fact, recent studies have shown that it is easier to reject someone online or through text, rather in real life, in person to person communications.
4) There are those people who don't want to meet anyone new online.. These are the people who will refuse to talk to you, or when you request, you'll get a message back saying "do I know you?"
5) It is easy to lie about your true self online, in both your appearance and personality. On myspace and tagged, I have found that alot of people will lie about their age, whether it's a joke or for privacy. I once messaged a girl who claimed to be 22, she messaged back saying "thanks for the compliment, but i'm only 16 man.. I was all like well wtf are you sayin your 22 for. Also you should be a little suspicious if the person doesn't have any photos that show their body (ie only head/ face shots) or if there are alot of ones with the person holding the camera above their head.
Conclusion: Facebook/ Myspace/ online dating services can be a great way to increase your possibilities of dating, to "market" yourself, and to increase your chances of meeting "the one." So, keep your profile current, keep posting status updates, and add new photos periodically. But, as of now, online dating and meeting people online really can't replace dating in the real world.
