Problem between young lovers...

I will try and keep this short because I have a lot of thoughts on this...

Me and my girlfriend have been going out for about 2 years now, I love this girl to bits because our relationship has fared some pretty stormy criticism, fights and being apart for extended periods of time. The relationship part is alright but I need help approaching her on some of her bad habits and expectations that she is developing.

So the quick story...
I am a 5th year University student with a full time job this summer, I moved away from home about 5ish years ago and I am currently live in a apartment with roommates. My girlfriend just finished her first year of University, she lives at home has a p/t job for the summer but is still is very dependent on her parents. I have enjoyed all of the time we spent together and I believe that the fights we have are temporary and I never let her or myself go to sleep with angry thoughts.

She spends the night at my house sometimes and we see each other regularly. But recently I have been having trouble with personal space, not my space in particular but the apartment I live in, she has been coming over to my place more than I have been going to her place. I believe its because of the fights she gets in with parents, and maybe because we have to stay in the spare bedroom whenever I stay over cause her room is a mess, but still that is not the real problem. When she stays over I end up being the responsible host, I cook her dinner/breakfast, I clear her plates, I get her drinks, and I just wait on her. I do this mostly because I love her and I would do anything for her, but recently its gotten to the point where its not just cute, it is expected! She doesn't clean up after herself or tries to help in anyway let alone say please or thank you! Now sometimes she does do something unexpected like brings food over and its refreshing! but if I don't immediately deal with it will be left on the counter to melt/thaw etc.

She recently has been staying over on weeknights as well, she doesn't seem to realize that it's hard to do these things for her when 1) I'm tired from working a full time job 2) I don't like to deviate from my morning routine 3) she doesn't have to get up/go to sleep as early as I do. 4) Doesn't realize I don't have a mom to do my chores.

I have tried to approach her about this several times, but it just ends with arguments and her turning it around on me (being grouchy in the mornings... etc.) One thing that annoys me A LOT but I have gotten over is, 100 nice things I just done for her never compares to that one nice thing she did a couple days ago.

So rant/explanation aside, I need help!
How do I explain these problems I'm having to her? I don't want to lose her because of this escalating into a bigger problem!


note: dumping is not a option cause i love her :S...