This has got to the point that it's beyond stupid.
Heya :D
This is gonna be pretty long, so you might wanna grab a cuppa and a slice of cake
Okay so I need a little bit of advice. Normally, I'm pretty good at letting things go and not letting things bother me. But this has been almost 10 months, and it's still niggling away at me. I know mysef pretty well, and if almost a year on I'm still bothered about something, then somethings not right!
Okay, so my ex-boyfriend Adam dumped me almost a year ago.
There was nothing out of the ordinary, nothing strange, we were perfectly fine and perfectly happy. It was a Tuesday, he'd just got back off Holiday.
But then wierd thing number one happened. He must have asked me about four times that day if it was okay to go to the City on Saturday with his friends Tina and David. Now I never liked Tina and I got a pretty strong feeling that it was a pretty mutual thing. David I never had a problem with, he even came to visit me in hospital with Adam a few weeks earlier when I'd been really ill. David and Tina have been together since they were about 14, they're both now 19 and 20. They'd been friends with Adam since they were about 11, so they were all pretty close.
So yeah, anyway I said I had no problem in him going to the City, but he asked again later, and then tried to persuade me into paying for me to come. I said it was okay, I had no disire to go there, and I didnt really wanna talk badly of someone he was such close friends with.
He went that night, and he looked...almost regretful as he left.
I just shook it off.
The last thing he said was "I'll see you Sunday, I love you" I said I love you too and shut the gate.
On Sunday I got up early to get dressed. He usually turned up about 11 and I had been in abit of a flap and had abit of a PMS at him on Tuesday, so I wanted to make abit of a fuss of him that day.
Weird thing number two.
11 O'Clock came and went. As did 12, then 1, then 2....and finally at 8:30 in the evening he called. I was pretty upset it had taken him all day to call. He said he'd tried to call all day. That was a lie, the phone hadnt rang all day. I know, because I sat by it ¬_¬ He said the reason he hadn't come round was because Tina had been doing his hair, and he thought that it was better to get it out of the way with. Well that was her words right there pouring out of his mouth!
I didnt wanna get into an argument about it, because I knew it was stupid, so I told him I had to go have tea and I'd call him later, but I actually planned on doing it the next day.
I logged onto msn just after I got downstairs. He was online, it wasnt that late, I was just about to phone him.
Wierd thing number 3. He began the conversation with "Take it you didnt call me back then!?" Which came across as slightly agressive considering he's the most gentle person I've ever known. I apologised and said that I had been pretty annoyed the day before but I was over it now. And he just put "hmmm" and then a few moments later he put "I've been having a think, I dont think we should be together anymore" (I haven't thought about that in a while, cue massive tearing in the chest region) I just said, okay bye then, have a nice life. And turned the PC off.
I think it took about an hour to sink in.
The next day he was on MSN again, and I asked him why he did it and he said "Oh so NOW you want to know?"
I was so confused, it all seemed so...aggressive. And I didnt understand where this had come from, he'd been so calm and placid the last time I'd seen him, the same way he'd always been. He just said "I dont love you anymore, and I've felt like this fo a while" yet while he'd been away on holiday (now just over a week before) He'd left me loads of messages saying he missed me and he loved me and couldn't wait to see me. You dont change your mind in a week! I ended up just deleting him. I thought, if you don't wanna know, I don't wanna know either.
Two days after that me and my best friend went up town - she'd also just split with her boyfriend. It was ment as a little firly day to cheer us up. We ran into another of Adams ex girlfriends, and she said "you know he has a new girlfriend...right?" I just said I dont care, and turned my back and walked off. I bottled it all up till I got home and just cried about it.
The rumour that surfaced was that he'd been sleeping with her, there were different versions of it, but thats what it was.
I didnt really belive it, but at the time, it made sence. And it made me mad at him. Choice between being mad and being heart broken, I pick being mad.
I posted a couple of angry myspace bullitins, nothing major, just to express my hurt. I have no idea WHY I did that. I shortly dissapeared from his friends list.
I decided not to speek to him until we returned to college about 3 weeks later.
I tried to prepare myself for when I saw him in person, I thought that break from seeing him would help. It didnt. I saw him, I went over and asked to speek to him. He was only sat with one friend. He looked misrable from the moment I saw him, and when I approched him he almost cowered away from me, like I was gonna hit him or something. I asked to speek to him alone, and he kinda went "...errrr" as if trying to think of the right responce, so I just pulled his arm and dragged him out of earshot.
He said he was gonna dump me over the phone, and insisted he hadnt slept with Maria. I was there less than two muinets, before I had to walk away. When I turned to leave he looked really beaten, almost as though he was going to cry.
He sent me a message over facebook when he got home, which really annoyed me. He said he was annoyed that it had taken me this long to speek to him, he said that I should know him better, because there was no way that he would have ever cheated on me, that infact Maria wouldnt even kiss him!
I sent him a not so nice rather colourful reply. It wasnt a good move, I dont think he even replied to it.
I started dating someone new. His name was Reece, he only lives up the road.
About two months later I took a full STI test, the results came back negative. I'd heard some things about Maria, that she'd slept around abit, and if she'd given Adam anything I didnt want him thinking it had come from me. I called him, and told him the result. He said thanks, and then before I could even stop myself "why did you do it....?" and then felt tears in my eyes.
We spent two hours on the phone. He told me he had no idea why he dumped me. He moaned like crazy about her, and made it clear that things wernt working and said "I know I shouldnt say it, but I really do regret splitting up with you" we had a good old laugh, I think I cheered him up alot. And he said something really wierd, that he still thought about when we were together, and when we slept together. He said that she refused to even kiss him. They'd been together five months!
He also told me that the day after he dumped me Tina started saying "You should get with Maria, you should get with Maria" and eventually he just gave in.
The next day, everything changed. I saw him and he looked like someone had just ran over his dog or something. He said he felt guilty about the things he'd said the day before. I told him he shouldnt. I personally think that what happened was that he tried to talk to her about it, and then she turned it ALL round on him.
Then there was the day I made the STUPID mistake of hugging him infront of her, and she went CRAZY. Im not even gonna get into that, except for saying that was the day I realised Maria was Tina's best friend. I'l never forget that look of evil on her face as Tina went "He's not YOUR boyfriend to hug"
A few weeks later me and my female best friend got called into the Head of Art's office. Maria and Tina were filing bulying claims againced us...
I saw him that day (I chased him up the corridor. He turned round with a massive look of panic on his face and went "what about your chest?!" I completely fogot about when I'd been in hospital), I told him there was no way Id bullied the insane little cow (infact somewhere around this time I'd been trying really hard to be NICE to her) He told me he knew I wouldnt hurt her. It was almost christmas at this point, and two days before his birthday.He expressed that he was upset, because Maria, David and Tina had "accidently" forgot it was his birthday and were off to see Paramore. His mum had organised a massive party for him, but he didnt want it now, because none of his friends would be there.
He also mentioned that he'd spent £200! On her for christmas!!! And that she had DEMANDED all of her presents early.
None of his friends would be there, because the loonie tunes wouldnt let him have any friends. They'd "banned" me, and the lads had been saying that Maria wouldnt even let him go to the pub with them.
Out of sheer curiosity, I asked if he'd slept with her, he said he had, and pulled abit of a :/ face. Kinda like "well yeah, but that was nothing worth waiting for"
I made him laugh and smile, and look abit happier for a while, and then I had to go.
He hugged me goodbye, he held me gently, but he stood there for what felt like ages, and then he just turned and walked away.
And then we kinda just under took that little pattern for a while. I'd see him occasionally, I'd speek to him, I'd make him laugh and smile, and then I'd leave.
The best occasion was when he was staring down at the table (because Maria's rules proberbly push to him not even being allowed to LOOK at me) and I laid my head on the table to look up at him, and he smiled, and we both laughed.
We've also seemed to have developed this unwritten law of silence. He lets on to everyone else that everythings "fine" with Maria and "hes really happy" (cos he CLEARLY looks it, he constantly looks like he's gonna cry) but when he's -on his own- with me, the truth seems to slip out a little more. He'll still give the "everythings alright" speech, but then it'll be followed by something slightly negative about her. And I never repeat it, like he knows, what he says to me will stay with me.
I dont know if thats the right thing to do, but I guess its trust? Nothing he's ever said about her to me has ever got back to her, half of it's never even left me.
Sometimes he does things that are a little strange. I split up with Reece in the Christmas break. Yet I'm still really good friends with him and I see him every morning. If Adam's caught the bus that morning and seen me, he'll tell Reece. When there's no point, because I'll have seen Reece anyway.
The other week I saw Adam, and he asked if me and Reece were still together, we were walking to his bike and there was noone else around and I thought it was abit out of the blue. Especially as me and Reece had split up before Christmas, and I'm pretty sure I mentioned it to him. And I explained that I'd litrally that week split up with someone else (that was a COMPLETE waste of time ¬_¬) and he just went..oh
And then we started joking around, because I said something stupid, as usual. And he hugged me goodbye, the same, noone else is around so I'll wrap both arms around you and hold onto you longer than I should hug.
Then about two weeks later we saw him while we were setting up some work, and asked him where he was going, and he said he was off to meet Maria in the canteen (and I hadnt seen them together in a while) so I kinda just turned around because...well shesa nutter and I didnt wanna see her. Twenty seconds later he came storming out of the canteen and said "I've gotta walk upto her CLASS now" and stormed off up the corridor o.O
And this isnt all including the fact that she follows me with Tina. Their favrioute thing is to follow me into the toilets, and stand either side of me in the mirror laughing. Either that or they just stare down at me.
Maria holds hands with Adam, but she turns her entire body away from him (and he does the same) or she'll walk and drag him behind her.
She's enforced new rules recently, that he's basically not allowed to be seen with her AT ALL during college times, and only meet her at her house.
Im gonna have to end this now, it's already STUPIDLY long.
I apologise for the length.
Thankyou for any help or light you can shed on the situation.
xo
