Quote from chris

Originally Posted by Chris_
Doesn't sound like she's completely over him. Know what I would do? Take her out and show her a good time. Take her mind off of him and show how fun it is to be with you. Try that 2-3 times, and then maybe feel it out a bit more. If it doesn't progress from there, remain friends with her, but don't put your heart into things.





i like reading this, i am new here and this is probably one of the most helpful things i have read that i can relate to. as of right now the woman that i love we known each other for years and then as we grew we parted and recently met again and i feel like a new man now, i felt lost and i juts didnt care about anything.
She has had relationships and a kid during the 4 years we never spoke and has a boyfriend in prison right now who she i know she likes and i think she likes me too so i must show her a good time, time is of essence here. even then i dont know if i will get with her because she wants to bail him out and with that he would have to live with her. i dont want to say anything bad about this guy either and make me look like an idiot, not that i think bad of him, i just need to compete without coming off as a complete dick. my situation i feel is very touchy and it can go anyway right now. anyone help me with this one? i know sorry to the topic creator i will repost this in another thread if anyone wants to comment but originally i made this post to make a point of the reply that i am quoting is very well said. i feel like its part of my situation

Thanks man. :)

While you are a new man, and she sounds like she went through alot, what's to say she is not the same person she was before? And while you may have changed, if she didn't, you guys can't logically worked out.

Not to mention the advice of not putting your heart into things is going well over your head because it sounds like you want to and are ready because you still have feelings for this woman that you had feelings for before. Take a look at the decisions she's made. Did she really have a child with the guy that is in prison or are these separate failed decisions? If you are listening to his advice, I say take it and take it slow with this girl and get to know the person she has become. All this talk about how touchy it is and how the situation can't go away right now makes me sound like you are diving in head first. Don't rush things...please.

No this guy in prison is not the father, sadly someone else is and maybe you are right, maybe i do crave love from a woman because its something that i have never experienced in my 22 years of life, have had more then my share of fun but nothing ever lasted because i wasnt very confident in myself young age, i am native canadian and raised in a white family and white community, i never had one native friend or not even any other race untill i was about 13 years old and always had people picking on me verbally, i defend myself with violence and get suspended from school and eventually i just ended up out right failing myself and making bad decisions too and while she has made some bad decisions and maybe i grew up a bit faster then she did and still growing so how can it be illogical and being very solid like a lone wolf and was raised to not speak out of line which i thank my dad for doing that because it made me so solid but i also wish he could of taught me to speak my mind and learn to build character

i read somewhere else that parents splitting up in early child hood and not being able to pick up on signs of affection hence why i find it so hard to be able to stay with woman and need to learn to do this myself and trying to do so.

so yeah you may be right that i shouldnt just dive right in and take my time but what if she does end up bailing this other kid out then i will have lost my chance to be with her possibly for weeks months years who knows, i just want to make it apparent that i like her and i think she knows because she does talk to me and calls me but the best thing that if i didnt make my move yet and time is VERY short then i would have to wait for him to slip up again and even then i still might not get my chance. i just dont know!!!

like earlier mentioned maybe i am just seeking love but i dont know because there are woman that i like to **** and woman i would like to spend life with and help each other grow and to live for each other i just think its right for us but what do i know im only 22 thats why i am here!! lol i love you guys

ill continue this later my ramble i have to go out for a bit for anything thats interested if at all.

Exactly. You are only 22 and you should not have any pressure or need to be with somebody. You are young and although it's important to gain some relationship experience if you want to be better prepared for the person that you choose to spend the rest of your life with, this one person is not the only one for you. She is not the only person in the world you can be happy with, so if things don't work out, do not panic. Everything will be alright regardless.

hi yes i would like to thank everyone for their replie, its been a few wweeks since i have been here. if anyone wants to check out this weird dream i had i wil repost it in another threa,d/forum ill post link back later

and oh yes i have found another woman :) also check out the off topic forum to read my strange dream if interested, looking for interpretation