A marriage in trouble

I have been with my wife for 9 years. We have 2 kids They are 5 and 8. About 6 months ago my wife stayed the night at another guys house. Since then she has been texting him in seeing him at the bar. When i bring it up she just pick up the phone and start texting him and telling me she's going out to see him. Sometimes she goes out while i'm sleeping at 2 or 3 in the morning and sometimes she just goes out And leaves me with the kids. I told her that if it continues i could not stay with her. She stopped for about 2 months. She is now told me she's going to start texting him in seeing him again. I have 2 beautiful children that i could not stand to be away from. She will tell me that she loves me and can't live without me. But in the same day she will tell me that she will do anything to get me to divorce her so she can contest that divorce. I just wanna know what she is thinking in what i should do. Any advice is appreciated.

Thanks for reading my post,
Bill

Holy crap.

You should probably be talking to a lawyer - without your wife knowing.

Yeah that is what i've been thinking that when i leave what is she going to do. She won't work she is bipolar and has of agoraphobia. We barely make it by as is. And she has my children i don't feel safe with her on her own with them

I also think you should see a lawyer without her knowing. My mom just did this to my dad but she went to the lawyer first. He has my younger brother and sister now and she lives her life going to the bars and seeing this new guy etc.
Could you not get the kids?

Infinite hard for a man to get custody of their children? How did your dad to it?

In most cases, unless you can prove she's some kind of depraved lunatic, her disgusting behavior will have no bearing on a custody case. The only hope you have for that is outright abandonment, and I think she has to have no contact with the kids for a full year before you'd be granted sole custody (research this- this is old information).

I think you should make her life as uncomfortable as she's made yours. Change the locks the next time she goes out in the middle of the night. Report her missing. Start making trouble for the other guy. Break her phone. It's pretty hard to text someone with a broken phone.

Man, that is so disgusting how she can get away with all that and still have custody. Bullshit inequality favor of women.

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Originally Posted by doppelgaenger [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Man, that is so disgusting how she can get away with all that and still have custody. Bullshit inequality favor of women.

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They don't give a flying **** if men are shitty husbands either. There's nothing unequal about it. It's the same for both genders.

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Originally Posted by bill3212 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I have been with my wife for 9 years. We have 2 kids They are 5 and 8. About 6 months ago my wife stayed the night at another guys house. Since then she has been texting him in seeing him at the bar. When i bring it up she just pick up the phone and start texting him and telling me she's going out to see him. Sometimes she goes out while i'm sleeping at 2 or 3 in the morning and sometimes she just goes out And leaves me with the kids. I told her that if it continues i could not stay with her. She stopped for about 2 months. She is now told me she's going to start texting him in seeing him again. I have 2 beautiful children that i could not stand to be away from. She will tell me that she loves me and can't live without me. But in the same day she will tell me that she will do anything to get me to divorce her so she can contest that divorce. I just wanna know what she is thinking in what i should do. Any advice is appreciated.

Thanks for reading my post,
Bill

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Hi Bill, I'm sorry to hear you're going through that terrible time.

It's amazing how someone could have two sides just like that. But again, I think the most important thing for you right now it to understand, and figure out, WHAT HAPPENED before she started that whole endeavor.

How was the relationship between you two? how where you acting in the relationship? where you still being the "man" of the relationship?

See, women don't like girly men, they despise when a man starts acting all clingy, needy and emotional. I'm not saying you were acting this way, I'm just telling you something so follow me here.

I tell my customers that the first thing you gotta get rid of is, ANXIETY.

Anxiety is the worst thing for relationships, and it's even WORST when MEN let it affect them.

Pleasy do this right now:

Take out a piece of paper and WRITE DOWN the 5 things about the marriage that give you THE MOST ANXIETY.

Then see which one of those are TOTALLY out of your control to change, and scratch them.

You'll be left with only the ones that YOU can change. Take those and sit for about 1/2 an hour and think of 3 ways you can solve them so that they don't cause you anymore anxiety.

try it and let me know how you went.

cheers!


-Joseph-

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Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

They don't give a flying **** if men are shitty husbands either. There's nothing unequal about it. It's the same for both genders.

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They should give a shit, though. You know why? Because it's an obvious sign of a lack of responsibility.

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Originally Posted by doppelgaenger [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

They should give a shit, though. You know why? Because it's an obvious sign of a lack of responsibility.

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Well, that's arguable, but the stance they take is that bad spouses aren't necessarily bad parents.

Do everything in your power to get out of it. This is a tough one.