should i stay or leave?

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15-10-04, 02:19 PM
HooKaH

should i stay or leave?

before you read id just like to say that any comment or opinion is appreciated...

i met this girl at camp around july but considering the fact that im a shy person nothing happpened with us at camp...last month i started talking to her online and i just told her how i felt about her and she felt the same way...we talked for hours on the phone and on aim...at this point she was already my girlfriend...here is where the problem starts...i live in LA and i go to college in LA...she lives in LA but goes to college at Santa cruz...anyway last week, the 9th, i drove all the way to santa cruz from la to see her..i spent the whole saturday with her and i left sunday around noon..it was the best weekend of my life and i thought things were going great...yesterday she told me that she thinks we should take a break...at least until summer...i was bummed at first but i guess her reasonings are understandable...living 350 miles away from someone you love isnt that easy...she cant stop thinking of me and when she does she feels sad and lonely plus shes goin through midterms and a bunch of hw so she is having a hard time concentrating...furthermore she is going to be getting a job at school so she will barely have time to speak to me.

here are some things she told me on aim ..just the stuff that i think i should let u guys know

:its not that i don't want the title of being your girl i just don't want the obligation of missing you

:i can't even concentrate on my studies cause im thinking of you

:babe if this was meant to be can it hold off til at least the summer? If you like me enough youd do that for me

i seriously think i can wait for until summer i just wanna know waht u guys would do
15-10-04, 11:07 PM
malpass

I'd say wait but time has effects on people you wouldnt think. By then you will probly have fallen for someone else or come to terms with not being with her and when you get back together it just won't be the same. On the other hand you may withstand the test of time, the choice is yours but in the long run I think you are better letting her go...

"If you love someone let them go, if they come back good, if not you were probably better off letting them go"
15-10-04, 11:13 PM
gsgann22

let her go, maybe once every 6 weeks drop her a line. If she really wants to continue the realtionship she will try a contact you sooner, so just try and sit back and relax but don't pass up any other girls waiting on her though

"if you love someone let them go, if they come back good, if not hunt them down and lock them in a cage." kidding of course.
15-10-04, 11:26 PM
HooKaH

thanks for your responses

however its not that easy for me to just let her go...i really do wanna wait cause i understand her reasons. I know she really does want to continue the relationship but just at the moment she is caught up with a bunch of hws and a job plus the fact that we're about 350 miles away at the moment. I asked her the other day what about when i see you on holidays and she said i dont know just go with the flow...so the next time im going to see her will be thanksgiving break and hopefully we can start things up again cause i really hate this..not talking to her n all. it sux
15-10-04, 11:34 PM
gsgann22

I understand I dated someone for a year that lived 9 hours away (630 miles), she was awesome but it takes two to make it work, KJ wanted our relationship and she choose to stay in touch also, I am telling you. if you force the issue or call her unexpectedly you will lose her for sure. You will make her feel suffucated, I hate it for you it is hard, I hope it works out for you. :upset:
16-10-04, 03:39 AM
HooKaH

Quote:

Originally Posted by gsgann22

if you force the issue or call her unexpectedly you will lose her for sure. You will make her feel suffucated

what do u mean by that part? how should i act what should i do then?
thanks
16-10-04, 03:49 AM
gsgann22

Quote:

Originally Posted by HooKaH

what do u mean by that part? how should i act what should i do then?
thanks

try and be nonchalant, make her call you. don't call her everyday or anything just enough to stay in contact but don't call alot she will call you, just try and act like it doesn't bother you and she will come around if its meant to be
16-10-04, 03:52 AM
HooKaH

thats a good idea but wouldnt that leave the impression that im over her? cuz i dont want to leave that impression...btw i dunno if i ever said this but shes gonnna be here during christmas break so theres like a whole month there to start things up again
16-10-04, 04:26 AM
gsgann22

Quote:

Originally Posted by HooKaH

thats a good idea but wouldnt that leave the impression that im over her? cuz i dont want to leave that impression...btw i dunno if i ever said this but shes gonnna be here during christmas break so theres like a whole month there to start things up again

don't give her that impression just play it cool when she calls and says she misses you tell her you miss her, but don't start the I miss you conversations, write her a letter but keep it friendly not mushy. don't be the one saying I miss you first let her say then agree with her. Let her lead how things progress, use her as a gauge on how much you should try a talk with her. Trust her. don't question her feelings. Understand this may not work out, she may indeed meet someone else or you may, do not stop your life waiting on this to happen, I am not saying it can't happen, I am just saying take all this into consideration.

Christmas break will be good I am glad to hear that