Should I just forget about this girl or what?

Hey all you women out there, I am in need of some help! And wow, I apologize that this is so long, but I would really appreciate it if you read it and helped me out.


So I go to college, and at the end of this past semester (at the beginning of May) I met this really cool girl. She had the same kind of humor as me, and she was really attractive so I started talking to her. I took her out on a couple of dates before school got out, and everything seemed to be going well. School ended, and then we got seperated. She lives now 2 hours away from me.

So we were still talking and everything and then I had a friends wedding coming up that I needed a date to. I invited her, and she accepted. Thats when things got weird. When we got to the wedding, she seemed to act pretty awkward around my friends and she seemed really nervous and antsy. I was kinda weirded out by it but whatever. She then told me a reallly reallly weird thing while I was just talking to her. I am pretty sure I said "Whats like the weirdest thing you have ever done?" And she responded, "Well, a while back I would sometimes take my top off iin front of my friends. It was a bad stage for me at that time, I was really depressed and whatnot, I don't do that any more." I got SUPER weirded out, and the rest of the weekend was just an awkward mess.

After the weekend, I was really super bummed out because I figured out this girl had some anxiety issues (she told me she was on anti-anxiety/depressants), and she really freaked me out by telling me that naked story. Most guys would have just blown her off, but felt really bad for her, and I still really liked her, so I decided to give her another chance. I called her back and told her "hey lets just forget about this past weekend, can we just start talking on the phone now?" She accepted, and we started talking on the phone.

I would call her probably like 3-4 times a week, and I really enjoyed it. We were both feeding off of each others weird quirks and characteristics and it was awesome. I now got to the point where I started imagining being with her and I would start to get all those warm fuzzy feelings. This might have been a mistake, because I started to REALLY REALLY like her and yet I never even kissed her yet!

So one weekend we decide we are going to meet up at the college we go to. I, of course, start to get suuuuuperrr stoked to meet her. When I finally pick her up, the first thing she tells me is that she just took 5 shots of alcohol with her friends. I felt really insulted, because I was really looking forward to having fun and hanging out and she celebrates friendship by taking 5 shots. Anyways, I got over this because she was still acting normal, and we had a fun time hanging out. I took her back to my house where we played beer pong with my friends and it was really fun. We then went to the bars to drink more, and then I noticed she was texting someone. I noticed that it said "Will" which was her ex-boyfriend. I got upset about this because I thought this was her boyfriend who was a total asshole, but apparently he is just a friend...

So anyways, I am ready to go home and hopefully kiss her and be all lovey dovey (I still havent kissed her yet!) and on the way home she says "OH lets go say hello to my friends at this apartment!" I accept, even though I really didn't want to. She introduces me to some people, and I notice that she starts to get super involved in talking to friends. I didn't want to be there for long, and I though she would pick up on this, so I say "I'm pretty tired, I am thinking about going home." She then responds "Well I think I am gonna stay here for a while."

Thats when I blew up. I got really upset and frustrated and basically was like "OH OKAY BYE" and walked out. I then sent her some pretty nasty texts on the way home like "I was really looking forward to spending time with you tonight but now thats ****ed" This is the only thing that I regret doing, because I really do feel like I blew up on her, and I shouldn't have assumed that she would have been like "OH OKAY YEAH I WOULD LIKE TO COME BACK WITH YOU SO WE CAN KISS BLAH BLAH!"

So after the weekend I can totally tell shes weirded out by me, and I apologize to her. She says she needs some time to cool down and think about all of this. Also, since she was super mad at me, she then decided to make out with some other dude at the party. She told me he is annoying and not cool though. This was agonizing for me because now all I have to do is wait and stuff.

So a couple days go by and I start texting her again. She seems pretty normal when she talks and stuff, but she says she is still uncertain about me. I explain to her that I would really like to talk to her on the phone again because I miss it. She agrees and I call her, and once again when she talks to me we have a really good time talking and laughing and whatnot.

Since she was hanging out with her friend for the 4th weekend, I decided not to really talk to her much and give her some space. Yesterday rolls around, and I text her when I am at work. She seems very distant and not too excited to talk to me. I start to get super bummed :( I then try and call her once yesterday night, and no answer. I try calling an hour or so later, and no answer. I text her and say "Um...are you mad at me or something...i feel like i am being ignored" and no answer :(

WHAT JUST HAPPENED HERE!? I really want to text/call her but I don't want to come off as suppper creepy. She never gave me a solid answer as whether or not she was willing to give me another chance, and now it is eating me up inside. Is this girl just super confused with herself and doesn't know what to do? Does she now hate me?? Is she still thinking about what she should do with me??? Can you ladys please help me!!!!???!!!!???

Thanks,

Joey

You said some dickhead things, and that screwed it up for you. You absolutely shouldn't have gone off that like that because it made you look like some psycho-jealous-needy guy. And you are rather needy if you've been texting her and calling her incessantly after you cussed her out like that.

However, you had a right to be somewhat upset. She's been rather flaky. I wouldn't attempt to get drunk before going to meet a friend. That was disrespectful, especially when she blatantly told you about it. I'm sorry she dashed your plans toward the end too. I know you had it all planned out in your head, but you know... shit happens. And if this is a first hand look at how she treats people, then she can't be all that great.

She never gave you a solid answer because she doesn't care if she hears from you again or not. You freaked her out when you started that tirade of nasty texts. I think you need to leave it alone and move on. Take it as a lesson learned.

I think you maybe built her up in your head with high standards and are now disappointed that her true colors are starting to reveal themselves. That doesn't make either one of you a bad person, just maybe not a good match for dating. I would give up on any romance with her but be civil. She'll probably kick herself later for losing out on a good catch.

My advice: Grow some balls. The reason that this girl is texting her ex-bf, blowing you off, making out with some random guy, etc. is because you are letting her. The more you show her that her actions affect you, the more she's going to think of you as a pussy and walk all over you. Is she your girlfriend? No. If she was, I'd say f*cking dump that dumb-ass whore. She's just some chick that has some major issues going on in her life and is just going to bring you down if you let her get to you.

I have a boyfriend right now. At the beginning, I pulled the same messed up stuff on him. I'd text my ex-bf in front of him or rudely blow him off just to see how he'd react. You know what he did? He stopped calling me, he stopped talking to me, he stopped caring. The more that he started showing me that he had other options, the more I wanted to show him that I was the only option for him. I don't pull that stuff on him anymore, because I grew out of my insecurities and learned how to treat people.

If I were you, I'd walk away. She's not worth it. You have so much more power than she will ever have.... use it. Go out with your boys, and have fun. If you want a relationship, go get one with a girl who's not going to treat you like shit and make your life miserable. You are in control. There are two types of people in this world: lions and gazelles. Either eat or be eaten. F*cking eat for a change.

It sounds a bit like she's trying to test you. Maybe you should leave it for a week or something then send one final text just saying how you feel. Then it's her call. Don't be controlled by her though. You've both done things that weren't for the best, but that's in the past now. If you think she's worth it, you could give it one last shot but if you think she's just going to bring you down it's best to move on. Try not to get hung up on her if she's not worth the trouble.

Guy here.

Heres the thing, first impressions mean a lot. Within the first 3 seconds people can narrow down what type of person you are and if they want to associate themselves with you. That said, you blew up at her, and showed a really needy side of yourself. Absolutely nothing is attractive about being needy/clingy, especially for us guys :p

You had the right to be upset, but you acted like a yo-yo. You blew up with her that night, then started incessantly texting/(calling?) the next few days. Really, if shes the type of girl to disregard you, don't give her the time of day to make her feel like a queen. thats just my 2 cents. Good luck.