Hey everyone, I'm new here and not sure how everything works, but if anyone has any advice for my situation I would greatly appreciate it! I really love my boyfriend, and am 100% positive about this. I think he loves me as well, but I'm not sure if I should tell him...
I met him about a year ago (through a mutual friend) and I was attracted to him instantly. He had just graduated from my high school (I was going into my junior year) so we knew each other slightly... We spent literally a week or so hanging out together and getting to know each other, and when he had a small party at his house, and we ended up having sex that night. We were both virgins, and even though what I did was completely unlike me, and unlike him, I think we just both felt something monumental and absurd. We spent the rest of that summer in a relationship, and then he went to college on the East Coast (We were in California), while I went to Turkey for 6 months on an exchange program. We kept in touch, but not all that extensively, as we were both engaged in our own thing. I know we were sad about this, but we both were "going after our goals" or any cheesy explanation like that.
A couple of months ago, he came back home, and got in touch with me. We ended up together almost immediately, and I was so happy we hadn't been with anyone else throughout those months. After about a month of seeing each other we became exclusive, and plan to stay this way as long as we can (he is going into his sophomore year in college, and will leave in September). After all this time I really feel like I could not love anyone in the way I love him. He is so special to me, and while I hate the thought of not being with him, he has also motivated me in multiple ways - we are extremely connected, but I know we have also grown more independent from what we have created together... I guess I am just a stereotypical 17-year-old!
Anyway, I want to tell him that I love him soon. We don't have a lot of time left before school starts, and I know it might work because our relationship is exponentially stronger than it was last summer because we truly know each other now, et cetera. but we both know an exclusive commitment while so far away would not be healthy or conducive... What I love about his nature is that he is extremely calm and logical, and although we have been separated, it was a calm and positive goodbye. I feel so strongly about telling him this, because I don't know what will happen after this year ends, I know I would regret it if I didn't tell him how I felt.
He talks a lot about the future, mentioning when he will be home for certain holidays and breaks, and talking to me about how much he thinks I would love (and "hopes I will love") the school he goes to, about how I should visit him there. This makes me love him even more because the way he talks about these subjects is so leveled - I can tell that he would love it if I applied to his school, but wouldn't ever want me to go if it wasn't for me. Also, we had planned to take a camping trip together in August, and when my parents didn't want me to (surprise) we were both bummed out, but he kept telling me that there would be time in the future, that he knew we would go on that trip some day... He is a buddhist, and an immense advocate of living in the present moment, so something tells me the fact that he discusses things like this with me (he did not do so last summer) tells me it might mean something good? I love him, but not in an "I don't ever want you to be with another girl" way, it is more of a free-flowing, "you are incredibly special to me and I want you to be happy (but preferably with me!)" way. So I suppose the gist of this is me asking for your advice -
should I let him know how I feel, or just live in the moment and not risk an undesired response? Thank you so much for reading this, I am grateful for input!
p.s. Sometimes we play that game where we trace letters on each other's backs with our fingers and try to sense what is being written - I was thinking of tracing I love you on his back at some point? Is that over the top?
