Why do guys take long time to reply to emails?

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15-07-10, 08:42 AM
bellaflor77

Why do guys take long time to reply to emails?

I was dating a guy 8 years ago.One day a common friend told me that he graduated from graduate school.So, I wrote him an email to his job account saying congratulations for your graduation, what do you plan to do now. It took him a week to reply and he said what a nice surprise to see your email, sorry for taking so long to reply, tell me about your life now, where are you. I replied, and it has been some days and still don´t get a reply. Do you think he is not interested, and replying only for courtesy? what could I ask him to know about his dating status now in a subtle way?
15-07-10, 08:52 AM
xxazurexx

Why do guys take a long time to reply to emails?

That is some generalisation about guys.

The one I was involved with didn't take ages to reply.

If you were only looking to congratulate him, then why expect an immediate reply? He isn't your partner and for you to warrant an immediate reply.

It's 8 years since you dated. The guy obviously has more important things going on in his life that are of higher priority than your email was.
15-07-10, 09:02 AM
IncognitoSir

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxazurexx [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Why do guys take a long time to reply to emails?

That is some generalisation about guys.

The one I was involved with didn't take ages to reply.

If you were only looking to congratulate him, then why expect an immediate reply? He isn't your partner and for you to warrant an immediate reply.

It's 8 years since you dated. The guy obviously has more important things going on in his life that are of higher priority than your email was.

Agreed, and what do you expect, it's an email. I mean how important could it be, not important enough for a phone call.
15-07-10, 09:08 AM
l337acc

I have tons of email accounts that I only remember checking maybe once a week. And I would have to agree with the above replies. Perhaps you should try calling him if you are looking to get back into contact, this isn't highschool where you pass notes to one another...
15-07-10, 09:24 AM
xxazurexx

I suspect it was more a 'test the waters' email, rather than a genuine 'congratulations' email. Had it been a genuine congratulations email, she wouldn't have cared in regard to how long it took him to reply. All that would have mattered is that she sent her congratulations. She's been looking for an excuse to email him and she found one. She's been looking for signs and to see if he's still interested and was likely hoping for an early reply....she would have read into that as meaning 'maybe he's still interested'...

Yes, we women know exactly how some women work :)

No harm in testing I suppose, we've all done it at one time another.

But OP, perhaps you should call him ya know and rather than be guessing what he's thinking, feeling.
15-07-10, 09:50 AM
bellaflor77

You are right

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxazurexx [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I suspect it was more a 'test the waters' email, rather than a genuine 'congratulations' email. Had it been a genuine congratulations email, she wouldn't have cared in regard to how long it took him to reply. All that would have mattered is that she sent her congratulations. She's been looking for an excuse to email him and she found one. She's been looking for signs and to see if he's still interested and was likely hoping for an early reply....she would have read into that as meaning 'maybe he's still interested'...

Yes, we women know exactly how some women work :)

No harm in testing I suppose, we've all done it at one time another.

But OP, perhaps you should call him ya know and rather than be guessing what he's thinking, feeling.

True, I was testing the waters, and I think he realized that, too. I think he saw my email and there was an internal fight inside of him as to respond or not. I do not have his current phone number, but I think if I called out of the blue would make me look like really desperate, he is in another country, and I do not know his current dating status. I guess I´ll know whatever he is willing to share and in the time he wants to answer.
15-07-10, 11:38 AM
firewired

I guess for myself, if I'm very busy I always wait until I can relax and am in a good mood to right a nice response back....especially if it's someone that I'm interested in. I'm not saying that's the case, but if I'm interested in someone, I don't want to rush through composing an email in the middle of a stressful/busy day, I want it to come off as a friendly, happy email.
15-07-10, 03:39 PM
xxazurexx

Quote:

Originally Posted by bellaflor77 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

True, I was testing the waters, and I think he realized that, too. I think he saw my email and there was an internal fight inside of him as to respond or not. I do not have his current phone number, but I think if I called out of the blue would make me look like really desperate, he is in another country, and I do not know his current dating status. I guess I´ll know whatever he is willing to share and in the time he wants to answer.

Well the doors of communication have been opened and you are hearing something, even if it's not as often as you'd like. Who knows it might start to pick up though and once he's over the shock of hearing from you. If he's strictly not interested I would imagine that he will tell you about a gf quite soon, if he has that one that is.
15-07-10, 04:38 PM
the_robot

Don't generalize, my emails are answered in 30 minutes at most usually.
08-08-10, 08:58 PM
bellaflor77

I want to make an update. This guy and my brother work in the same place, my brother has a higher position than him. So, the guy I wrote to told my brother that I was trying to contact him. Is that good or bad? My brother also told me that he has had depression problems that he was even in the hospital. What do you think?
08-08-10, 09:33 PM
ecojeanne

i reckon he's not interested in romance. your brother is trying to give you the hint. get it now before you make a fool of yourself. let it go and look for someone else
08-08-10, 10:10 PM
doppelgaenger

Usually because we have more important things to do or we are banging another chick.
08-08-10, 10:24 PM
vashti

Quote:

Originally Posted by bellaflor77 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I want to make an update. This guy and my brother work in the same place, my brother has a higher position than him. So, the guy I wrote to told my brother that I was trying to contact him. Is that good or bad? My brother also told me that he has had depression problems that he was even in the hospital. What do you think?

I agree with eco. He has more important things on his mind right now. Let it go.
08-08-10, 11:43 PM
phys251

Quote:

Originally Posted by bellaflor77 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I was dating a guy 8 years ago.One day a common friend told me that he graduated from graduate school.So, I wrote him an email to his job account saying congratulations for your graduation, what do you plan to do now. It took him a week to reply and he said what a nice surprise to see your email, sorry for taking so long to reply, tell me about your life now, where are you. I replied, and it has been some days and still don´t get a reply. Do you think he is not interested, and replying only for courtesy? what could I ask him to know about his dating status now in a subtle way?

Quote:

Originally Posted by bellaflor77 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

True, I was testing the waters, and I think he realized that, too. I think he saw my email and there was an internal fight inside of him as to respond or not. I do not have his current phone number, but I think if I called out of the blue would make me look like really desperate, he is in another country, and I do not know his current dating status. I guess I´ll know whatever he is willing to share and in the time he wants to answer.

I think you're reading way too much into all this. It's. One. Email. Don't worry about small stuff like this or you'll go crazy.

Just continue the conversation and see if it leads anywhere. As some have suggested, consider calling him eventually.
09-08-10, 04:22 AM
365relationship

Hey bella,

First things first you could always check his facebook account and see what status he is in,

Second thing - I think that you shouldn't be afraid do seem desperate, just be reasonable.

An email is an email and sometimes we (men) don't really notice if there is a hidden meaning behind them,
we see them as they are...

So, i propose you give him a call and just find out for yourself, (Sometimes woman tend to get into over spying to get the info)

- if he's into you so that's great, if not so you know you can let it go and get on with your life.