Another Pre-engagement problem
Hi Everyone! I'm new to this forum and looking for some serious advises.
My fiance and I had talked about getting married for awhile, until recently we had started to plan for it. At first we were both really excited and were out searching for a new home, wedding reception, pre-wedding studio, honeymoon location,... etc. I found that's too much to do at the same time, so we agreed to do things one after another.
There wasn't an engagement ring involved before we decided to get married, but I still think I should get one, just because traditionally I need one, everyone of my friends get one, and we need it for photo taking etc... The ring is also a symbol of our love and showing people that we are formally engaged. so we have started off shopping for it. we both knew nothing about diamonds, the 4C's etc... so i went ahead and did lots of research on the internet. At first I was looking at diamonds in their higher qualities, those cost up to 9k to 11k. This is the range that most of my gf's got. Later, my fiance and I both agreed that's out of budget, so I lowered what I wanted to 6k diamond. I don't mind to get a diamond that is not as good as what my friends have, but at least it's not too "small" and not brilliant at all. I thought 6k was quite a good price for that specific diamond, but he complained so much. I'm not being greedy or what, I just thought if he loves me enough, wouldn't he be more than happy to buy me an engagement ring that I dream of? I tried to put myself in his shoes, and i know he would think the same that if i love him enough, i wouldn't mind to have a tiny-weeny diamond. So, I went off to look for better deals. I found something that's 4k and still would look good. I'm definitely excited about it; however, during all this time I was shopping for this diamond, he did no contribution at all, but just complain about money.
We both know that we will be spending lots of money on a wedding, and I knew he's not rich. I decided to pay part of it too, even though that's against my family's tradition, i just don't tell anybody. His finance is still tight, so I proposed to pay for my own engagement ring and he will pay me later when his finance is better. He's ok with that. And again, I can't tell anybody about it. I feel bad for myself too. So far for our wedding, I'm the only one who's working hard and researching hard for it, but he's the only one who always complain and not willing to contribute, or maybe he's just too tired and stressed from work. But, why is this happening to me? My gf's who got married didn't have to do so much themselves, their husband did almost everything. I feel very very tired. I'm happy to do all that preparations and stuffs, but why does he have to complain so much??
