New relationship, confusion, anxiety...
I'm 22, I've been in relationships ... all of which were just awful and the bad kind where I was used, cheated on, and emotionally battered. I met a guy who told me how gorgeous I was and I refused to date him for about a month because that's how all my smooth talking ex's started. However, eventually chemistry clicked and we basically went on a few dates, skipped the dating phase, and dove right into an established relationship which has been 2 weeks long (Short, I know!)
Since I've never had even a remotely functional relationship I have been experiencing really bad anxiety. I think in part by the fact we moved so quickly because I feel like we've already reached some sort of weird repetition which just drives the anxiety. My other relationships we could barely keep our hands off each other and were joined at the hip, which is not the case with him. Though this may be a good sign since my others ended up so badly. When you've been dating for 2 weeks you shouldn't feel like you've been dating them for months I would think?
Even though he's been perfectly nice to me I am constantly fearing that he doesn't want to be with me and I over analyze everything he does. In fact, much to my chagrin, I've asked multiple times, "Still happy you're my boyfriend?" to which I always get a yes, but I still feel like he doesn't care. I feel like if I text him I'm being too clingy, if I want to hang out with him I'm being too demanding -- especially as of late because I've been the one initiating hanging out.
I know how crazy it sounds. If he didn't want to be with me, he wouldn't. We haven't been together that long where he'd have a problem telling me that. I'm also not usually this obsessive. I like him a lot and every time I've liked someone they've come back and just destroyed me. I've done a pretty good job of hiding my anxiety FROM him because I don't want to ruin it, but it's beginning to make me depressed. I just want to know if anyone knows how to handle this kind of stress and words of advice?
The funny thing is is I know I'd be okay if we broke up, that doesn't actually scare me, but the anxiety is so bad that I've though about ending it so I didn't feel so anxious and sick. I know this can't be good because if I run now then what's to stop me from running in the future? I just want to know how to deal with it all. What's normal because ... I've never had something even remotely normal. Sigh.
