Help, in love with more than one girl...

Hi, I'm new to these forums. :) This post is gonna be long, sorry about that... But I hope someone will read it all, I would very much appreciate it. :)

I feel like an asshole now, not because of anything I've done, but because of feelings I've got. I'm just wondering if this is normal, and what I should do.

First, let me preface this by saying that I don't fall in love all the time, I'm not that kind of guy who just wants to "get something". I can sometimes stay in love with a girl for over a year, or several years, even though it's not mutual.

So there's a girl I was in love with for over 3 years. To avoid confusion, let's just call her Michelle. That's not her real name, but I'll call her that now. She knew from early on what I felt for her, but it was never mutual, she mostly likes girls, and the very few guys she's liked are not like me at all. But we've always stayed good friends, and that's worked even though I've always had feelings for her.

I thought the feelings for her had gone away after about 3 years, but a mutual friend of ours, who didn't know about those feelings, has said that she thinks it seems like I am in love with her. So that got me thinking, maybe I still am, but I'm just so used to being friends that I "forget" the feelings. I mean, if she wanted to kiss me (or something more), I would probably be in total ecstasy.

But recently, I've met her sister, let's called her Eva. And I've fallen in love with her... I know some other similar cases with my friends, where they've fallen in love with someone, and later with a sibling or cousin of theirs, so I guess it's not very uncommon, but still it feels a little weird, you know? I suppose some people might think "Well, if he couldn't get the girl he wanted, he settled with her sister instead", and I can sort of understand that thought, but it's not that simple, is it? There are so many things you can be attracted to with a person.

But recently, I've -also- developed a little feelings for Michelle's best friend. I know, it's crazy... Let's call her Anna. Again, fictional names I come up with on the spot now. I hope I will lose feelings for her though, and I think I slowly am, because even though she's a great person in many ways, she seems like the kind of girl who likes more to be single in bars and night clubs than have a committed relationship.

To sum some things up...

Michelle: Been in love with her for several years. But it's always been one-sided, and I don't think it will ever be mutual, but of course, anything is possible. But she is also a very independent and individualistic girl, so she might be the girl who could cheat. Although I would probably never hate her if she did it, it would really break me down emotionally...

Eva: Her sister. I actually think I would fit really well with her, we have so much in common, both with interests and viewpoints, and we have good chemistry. The first time we were together, without anyone else, there was no awkward silence, we talked constantly. And she is one of the smartest girl I've met, perhaps the smartest. She's also extraordinarily beautiful. The downside is of course that it feels weird that she's Michelle's sister, and I don't get to be with her very often, because prioritizes her studies and her family a lot. We get to meet each other from time to time, but we mostly just talk online, at the moment...

Anna: Again, a great person, and she's a good friend that I have lots of fun with, but I don't think we would fit in a relationship... See above reasoning.


So, I'm just wondering, is it wrong to go for a relative or good friend of someone you've been in love with previously? How will the previous loved person, and all your friends, react? Any personal experiences? I've never had high hopes with Michelle, but Eva seems so perfect to me...

Should I pursue it, or try to find love somewhere else? There are a couple of other girls that are currently in love with me, but they live far away, and it's not very mutual. And of course that's important, like I said, I don't want to just "get something".

Well, first of all, I dont think you are in love with michelle who likes girls, neither eva or Ann. You seem to be so confused about your feelings that neither you can understand what you feel.
You can try a relationship with Eva, if u wanna give it a try, but michelle i dont think it will ever be mutual, sorry but she likes girls, i just dont think she will be the one for u. Ann, you may be are attracted to her i really dont know what is your relationship with her like, if its hi and bye or if u guys get to spend time together.
Eva would be my best oprtion if i were you. And she is beautiful inside and outside from what u told. U can develop a great relationship with that girl, and you shouldnt care when people say shit like that, of how u couldnt get michelle and u got her sister instead Nobody knows shit and people just like to talk about things they dont know and about other people`s lives so they can feel better about themselves.
Good luck, and try to clear you feelings, it seems to me you have a lot of doubts, may be true love has never came for u yet

what is love anyway?

I think it sounds like you are "in love" with anyone who pays attention to you.

Angel2002: I know when I'm in love, so I'm sure I am that. Anna is a good friend, I am with her often, and she's very laidback and funny, but I don't think I'd fit with her, and I feel that her feelings for her are vanishing too. But not for Eva, I still have feelings for her, and logically she seems so perfect for me too.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I think it sounds like you are "in love" with anyone who pays attention to you.

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Well, then you've misunderstood entirely. That's absolutely not the case.

Well... So go for EVA!!!!! May be the future holds something great for you:)
Good luck:)

Well I know from personal experience it is possible to love two women. I am in a 10 year relationship with my girlfriend. But I also love my best friend who I have known for 4 years. When I first met my best friend we just hit it off even though she is 7 years younger than me. Then after a year knowing her we got very close and eventually ended up kissing regularly and were basically like a couple altho there was no sex. Then I made the decision to ask what she thought wud happen in future coz I thought I loved her but she said we cud only b friends. That day I decided to stop being an idiot and concentrate on my gf which was the best decision I ever made. Im still best friends with the other girl and I do love her to bits now, but its competely different sort of love that I hav for my gf. Its easy to confuse infatuation for love and remember there are many types of love, Im sure u love ur family, Im sure u love some of ur friends but u wudnt want to be in a relationship with them. In the end love is usually something thats grows over time and is hard to lose so in my opinion its obvious u were never in love with any of them. Its easy to mistake love like I did but its sometimes easy to overlook who u do love, again like I did. Its not easy so good luck!!!

tbh i don't think you should go with any of them.
michelle- if she's not expressed mutual feelings after 3 YEARS you're now in 'the friend zone'. i'd say leave her sister alone. i'm sure she's a great girl but you won't be grateful when your feelings between the 2 sisters are tangling themselves up in your head. and this good friend- you see no relationship with her, end of.

Go for Eva, I'm sure her sis wouldn't mind. Especially since she's into girls anyway. If you're really good friends with her sister then she can help you out. If things go bad, just make sure it went bad for other reasons and not for any reason that would involve you being an asshole. You'll be fine with her sis. She'll understand that relationships sometimes does go bad.