My ex-boyfriend and I dated for 2 years. Since we had a horrendous breakup, we cooled off for a couple of months and then became best friends. We have been best friends now for nearly 3 years. NO SEX. However, we spend nearly every free minute together.
The other day we were watching TV, and things got weird.
He walked outside and told me that since he was getting older (he's 41 now, I'm 31) and he wanted to find someone and start a family and that I needed to back away.
I cried and cried, and the next few days he backpedaled a bit, and doted on me night and day, went out and bought me a bunch of my favorite things, told me he wasn't interested in anyone else yet, we were still 'friends', he was still 'here', and that nothing had changed. He did not say he wanted to be with me, however.
Again, we have not had any kind of sex in 3 years, fyi. He had one girl he was interested in about 3 years ago, around the time of our breakup (who I 'caught' him making out with immediately after we broke up), but none that I know of since then. He always comes home immediately after work and calls me, or I come over.
Again, we spend all of our spare time together, I have a key to his house and come and go as I please, all the time, and he constantly buys me gifts and expensive things, takes me out to dinner, etc.
However, he states he does not want a relationship with me in that way. That much is clear, even though he backpedaled a bit. We had never even discussed this issue in the last 3 years until that night, as hard as that is to believe.
Even so, we've spent every Christmas and Thanksgiving together for the past 3 years (as well as, of course, the 2 before that). He's constantly buying me little gifts and trinkets, fixing up my apartment and doing things like changing the tires on my car.
Why, if he doesn't want to be with me? I haven't pressed the issue because I was giving him 'time' and he's never liked 'heavy' conversations. Now look what's happened.
Also, one thing that might be important... He is a very attractive guy with a great job. I, however, gained quite a bit of weight a bit before and during/after our breakup, nearly, gasp, 100 lbs. I had fallen into a deep depression for multiple personal reasons and it got completely out of control. I have lost 25 in the last month -- I had some sort of epiphany, and I didn't want to be that way anymore, but have a long way to go.
All of his past girlfriends that I've seen pictures of have been absolutely beautiful, as I used to be before my drastic weight gain. Sigh. Just to be clear, I am losing weight now, at a rapid clip, just through diet and exercise, and he knows this. I want to be my old self. I was well on my way back when this 'conversation' happened.
Here's the deal: I want him back. Period. Does my weight have anything to do with him not wanting me anymore? He says it has nothing to do with it, but I think it must -- especially with him being so very attractive and with such a high-profile job. He says he doesn't want to get back together because 'it never worked and it was too up and down' and he just wants someone 'sweet' (which I am).
