Just another 'He loves me, he loves me...not?' question. How do I tell? :/

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06-08-10, 04:51 PM
Lilithia

Just another 'He loves me, he loves me...not?' question. How do I tell? :/

The situation is...complicated. Ready?

This guy(let's call him Stan) is very...different from normal guys. Different in the sense that he has absolutely zero male friends and tons of female friends. And no, he is not a Casanova of any kind. More like feminine, introverted and very, very good at masking feelings.
Under normal circumstances, the way he behaves and acts around me would constitute a definite 'Yes! He likes me! He riiilly riiiiiilly likes me!' Unfortunately, we are not dealing with 'normal' here.

We hang out A LOT. And I daresay we get along really well. I'm the first person he calls when interesting things crop up in his life, and also the first one he turns to with his problems. And yes, he has asked the infamous 'Are you going out with anyone?' question but then again, I would say that it wasn't out of context because we were talking about relationships at that time anyway.

I can safely say that we're close friends. But I want...more than that. I've liked him since more than a year ago. And sometime last year, there was a rumor going around that I did and he got to know of it.
He never responded in any way. But then again, we barely knew each other then.

Sometimes, he says things like 'You're cute, you know that?' and 'Your type of eyes are really pretty.' Unfortunately, he says that to other female friends too. And once, he said that he'd be more suited to date girls with some form of substance and who were interesting-words that I used a few days before in my blog(that he reads) to describe myself(in a non-narcissistic way).

SO. Verdict?
06-08-10, 04:57 PM
nerdy_guy

Seems like he's treating you like the rest of the group. maybe he sees you as a best friend and that's the reason why you always get the first news. The only thing that would probably separate you from the rest of the herd is either he asks you out, or you ask him out and find out if he's interested in a little more.
06-08-10, 10:17 PM
Raze

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lilithia [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

The situation is...complicated. Ready?

This guy(let's call him Stan) is very...different from normal guys. Different in the sense that he has absolutely zero male friends and tons of female friends.

You're going to really hate me for saying this but I'm 99% sure that he is gay. Having all female friends is unheard of for a straight guy. Guys need their guy friends.
06-08-10, 10:20 PM
kitkitkitty

^^ this is true. what's his history of partners?
06-08-10, 11:04 PM
xxazurexx

He sees you as a mate.
07-08-10, 11:44 AM
Lilithia

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raze [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You're going to really hate me for saying this but I'm 99% sure that he is gay. Having all female friends is unheard of for a straight guy. Guys need their guy friends.

Hmm... He's been in relationships with other girls before. I know one of his ex-es, and well...basically it doesn't look like he's gay.
But that's a disturbing thought. :O
07-08-10, 11:46 AM
Lilithia

Quote:

Originally Posted by kitkitkitty [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

^^ this is true. what's his history of partners?

Girls only. Never shown the slight inclination towards guys.
07-08-10, 01:31 PM
jessZ

Yeah I think it sounds like he is gay...
07-08-10, 04:32 PM
kitkitkitty

if that was the case... what are his family like? he may have been trying to force himself to do things to please them or to 'fit in'.
07-08-10, 05:49 PM
Lilithia

Quote:

Originally Posted by kitkitkitty [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

if that was the case... what are his family like? he may have been trying to force himself to do things to please them or to 'fit in'.

His mom is pretty cool on him being feminine and all that. I think she even prefers him that way.
Not too sure about his dad though.
07-08-10, 07:25 PM
lahnnabell

What makes him feminine? The way he dresses? The way he talks?

I have to say, one of my first thoughts was, "Perhaps he's gay." One of my classmates in college would always talk about girls he had crushes on, but we all knew that he'd come out sooner or later. A couple of years later he did and we all feigned surprise :)

From what I understand, guys need guy time. This is time when they can talk about boobs, play video games, wrestle, play poker, and drink with their buddies. You're saying this guy doesn't desire to do ANY of that? Why doesn't he have any male friends?
08-08-10, 09:37 AM
Lilithia

Quote:

Originally Posted by lahnnabell [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

What makes him feminine? The way he dresses? The way he talks?

I have to say, one of my first thoughts was, "Perhaps he's gay." One of my classmates in college would always talk about girls he had crushes on, but we all knew that he'd come out sooner or later. A couple of years later he did and we all feigned surprise :)

From what I understand, guys need guy time. This is time when they can talk about boobs, play video games, wrestle, play poker, and drink with their buddies. You're saying this guy doesn't desire to do ANY of that? Why doesn't he have any male friends?

The way he behaves, I suppose. I guess one could call him 'refined'.

He told me a couple of months back that he used to have a group of really good guy friends in high school. But since coming to college he hasn't mixed around with guys mostly due to one really annoying/abusive guy in his classes that makes it really difficult for him to hang with other guys because the annoying one keep cracking gay jokes about him.
From what I heard though, he gets along fine with his guy cousins.