I need a little help, this may be long.

Well, I'll give you some background.
In October 2008, I started dating a boy [R], who to this day, I still love. However, last year in October (strangely) we broke up for 3 months because his best friend [J] was turning him against me by feeding him with lies. After those 3 months, we just had to be together, and we did get back together. My parents weren't happy about it but they stopped complaining after a while. The problem with this time is he'd gotten an xbox for Christmas and gradually over 6 months, he just treated like a friend and never talked to me, so 3 weeks ago, we broke up. In those 6 months, J and I had decided to start talking and we became 'civil' with each other until after the break up.
He thought he would then tell me he had feelings for me and that he loved me and needed me and wouldn't stop till he got me (this is J by the way) which totally blew my mind and confused me. I've never really liked him because of how he used to treat me but over a few days, and some talking and apologizing, we're almost best of friends. However, I have a few other problems and when he found out, he told me he'd be there for me and he'd never let me do the stuff I wanted to do.
Over two first two weeks, I grew to really like him but only for his personality. He's kind, caring, talks to me, cancels things for me, buys me things, makes time to see me, texts me back whenever I text him. Unfortunately, his looks are little to be desired. I'm not a shallow person but from the years I've spent with him, I've never been attracted to him.
So, for the past week and this week, R and J have been on holiday with each other in Spain and for the whole of this week, J has been texting me non stop and I'm worried about how it's coming across to R. I tried to tell him so many times that we needed to stop because the bill will be through the roof and he told me he'd pay for it. A couple of nights ago, I had what I call "a relapse" and texted R. However, I can't remember what I wrote in that message because of the way I was feeling, and then J came and told me that he read it whilst R was asleep and feels like crap. My phone conveniently broke so I can't even go back to check it out.
This is where I need help. Last night, I relapsed again over some stupid stuff and finally J told me that the other night R was talking about how much he missed me and would love another chance with me. I was chuffed when I heard but the things J said were like; 'don't worry about me, I'll find someone someday' and 'do whatever makes you feel happy, don't worry about me'. I felt like shit because I was trying to come across as happy yet he seemed to be trying to guilt me into going for him instead. So, I have a list of pros and cons with going back out with R and I just don't really know what to do.

Can anyone help?